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“A page turner. With candor and clarity, Tony Wagner tells the story of his remarkable life and, in so doing, tells the story of our education system.”
Angela Duckworth, Founder and CEO, Character Lab, and New York Times bestselling author of Grit

One of the world's top experts on education delivers an uplifting memoir on his own personal failures and successes as he sought to become a good learner and teacher.


Tony Wagner is an eminent education specialist: he has taught at every grade level from high school through graduate school; worked at Harvard; done significant work for the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation; and speaks across the country and all over the world. But before he found his success, Wagner was kicked out of middle school, expelled from high school, and dropped out of two colleges. Learning by Heart is his powerful account of his years as a student and teacher.

After struggling in both roles, he learned to create meaningful learning experiences despite the constraints of conventional schooling--initially for himself and then for his students--based on understanding each student's real interests and strengthening his or her intrinsic motivations. Wagner's story sheds light on critical issues facing parents and educators today, and reminds us that trial and error, resilience, and respect for the individual, are at the very heart of all teaching and learning.
Tony Wagner is an eminent education specialist: he has taught at every grade level from high school through graduate school; worked at Harvard; done significant work for the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation; and speaks across the country and all over the world. He is the author of Creating InnovatorsThe Global Achievement Gap, and Most Likely to Succeed. View titles by Tony Wagner

One

 

The Dropout

 

When i talk to people who have pleasant memories of their school years, they rarely mention the classes they took. Those who remember school fondly are far more likely to recall it as a time in their life when they had fun with friends. Or they excelled at a sport or joined in an extracurricular activity that excited them. Almost invariably, they say classes were easy for them, and so they got along with their teachers and brought home good grades that pleased their parents.

 

For many students-those for whom school is hard for whatever reason, or who are not popular or good athletes-school is tedious at best, torturous at worst. I was such a student. School for me was a giant jigsaw puzzle with many hundreds of tiny pieces-a puzzle that came with no picture to guide me or tell me how it was all supposed to turn out. I was lost.

 

From first through sixth grade, I went to a small, coeducational private day school half an hour's drive from where my family lived. I have only hazy memories of my classes and teachers there-things scrawled on the blackboard that we were told were important for us to know; heavy, dull textbooks that had to be lugged to and from school every day. What I remember most vividly was being an outlier. Most of the other kids were from the suburbs, and they saw each other frequently, after school and on weekends. But not me. We lived too far away. And so during recess, I wasn't invited to join in their play. I mostly just watched from the sidelines.

 

I was also slow to learn to read. Some kids naturally learn much later than others, and then, all too often, parent anxiety and teacher pressure fester and turn a late reader into an insecure learner. For several years, my mother dragged me to a tutor once a week. Mrs. Gray was patient and warm, unlike my teachers at school, and by fourth grade I was proficient. But the beginner reading books, organized by level of difficulty, and the assigned textbooks bored me, and I took no pleasure in reading them. I liked the smell of the blue ditto sheets, fresh off the mimeograph machine, that were sent home with us every night, but I hated doing the same math problems over and over. They were even worse than the reading assignments. I didn't do the homework most of the time.

 

About a year or so after I'd really gotten the knack of reading, I fell in love with it just for pleasure. At first it was a series of books called We Were There. Each book was a fictional retelling of a real historical event featuring one or more kids as the main characters. I don't remember where I got the first one, but it took me awhile to get into it. By the age of eleven or so, I was reading most every night-for myself, not for school.

 

I trekked the Oregon Trail, fought at the Battle of Gettysburg, dumped tea at the Boston Tea Party, nearly froze to death with Admiral Byrd at the South Pole. But it was the books about World War II that most captivated me: I'd watched, horrified and helpless, as the Japanese Zeros screamed out of the sky and bombed our fleet at Pearl Harbor; I ate bugs to survive in the jungle during the Battle of Bataan; I charged ferociously at the German pillboxes above the beaches of Normandy.

 

I went on to read about the different ground campaigns of the war. The German general Erwin Rommel, known as the Desert Fox, fascinated me by the way he kept sneaking around the desert, attacking the British, then slipping away. Then I got interested in battles between big ships. I begged my parents to let me watch Victory at Sea, a TV documentary that each week depicted a different naval engagement of the war, using original film footage. The program always closed with the first verse of "The Navy Hymn":

 

Eternal Father, strong to save,

Whose arm hath bound the restless wave,

Who bidd'st the mighty ocean deep

Its own appointed limits keep;

Oh, hear us when we cry to Thee,

For those in peril on the sea!

 

The music gave me shivers and made me feel sad. All I felt when they sang the hymns at our little Episcopal church each Sunday was impatience for the service to be over. I tried to imagine what it must have been like to be on a destroyer, manning a gun under fire from a Japanese battleship, terrified that a kamikaze would fly into us.

 

I knew what I would have done if I'd been in the war. I'd have been a fighter pilot, like my dad. In We Were There at the Battle of Britain, I flew a Spitfire and blew the German Messerschmitt Bf 109s and the Focke-Wulf Fw 190s out of the sky as we battled for air supremacy to save Britain from invasion. After finishing that story, I sought out others about aerial combat during World War II. I learned the names, armament, and performance characteristics of every fighter plane that fought in the war. I wondered which was best: the American P51 Mustang or the British Spitfire. The P51 was faster and had more guns, but the Spitfire was much more maneuverable, like a sports car.

 

On my father's bureau, I had seen a small silver-framed photograph of him wearing his officer's uniform and standing next to the nose of his Spitfire. There was so much that I wanted to ask him-not just about his plane, but what it had really been like to be in the war. Like so many World War II vets, though, he rarely talked about his experiences.

 

I did get some answers many years later when, at the age of seventy, Dad sat down to write a short account of his war experiences, "for his children and grandchildren," he said.

 

The outbreak of the war in Europe in 1939 found my father selling insurance, taking a few courses at Johns Hopkins University, and playing golf. "My school and college record was spotty at best," he wrote. "My life was golf and good times."

 

His other passion was flying.

 

While he had only three hours' experience in a friend's small private plane and had never soloed, he wanted to join the Army Air Corps. But he didn't have the required college degree, and there was a year's wait. At a Labor Day party in 1941, my father met a former Royal Air Force pilot and asked for help. It turned out that the RAF was desperate for pilots-having lost so many in the Battle of Britain the previous year-and so in November 1941, at the age of twenty-one, my father found himself as the only American cadet in a British Flying Training School. Of the sixty pilots in his cohort who graduated and received their wings, only half survived the war.

 

My father graduated at the top of his class, although he'd cheated on his Morse code exam, he confessed. Because all plane communications were by radio then, he never saw the point of learning it.

 

After serving as a flight instructor for several months and surviving a midair collision that required him to bail out over the Bristol Channel, Dad was offered his choice of assignments. He asked to be posted to the Forty-first Squadron because they were flying one of the hottest fighter planes of the war-the legendary Spitfire MkXII. For the next several years, he flew numerous offensive and defensive "sorties"-"scrambling" to chase after German fighter planes, escorting bombers on runs over France, strafing ships and locomotives, getting shot up by antiaircraft guns and limping back to base. His pilot's log reads like a script for a classic World War II movie:

 

"Cover for bombers at Abbeville; Hugh Parry hit."

 

"Rear cover for 300 B17s returning from Paris area; about 50 FW190's about; saw one of our own Spits shot down in flames."

 

"Typhoons [a British single-seat fighter-bomber] at Le Havre bounced by six FW 190's; mixed with them; we got two."

 

"Met nine ME109's and FW190's head-on with 20 more above over Abbeville; Tom Spack and Dick Hogarth missing; Sargent Fisher shot up, claimed one 190 destroyed."

 

Despite the daily horror and constant danger, it was the happiest time of his life, my father once admitted to me. He was doing something that he loved-and doing it very well.

 

Four days before D-Day, he was shot down off the coast of German-occupied Guernsey in the English Channel.

 

"I sat in my dinghy all day long . . . two airborne life boats were dropped by a special air-sea rescue squadron, only to blow away beyond my reach," he wrote in his memoir. "Finally, at dusk, the Germans sent a French fishing boat out to get me. As I stepped ashore in Guernsey harbor, a German officer saluted me and said, in broken English, 'For you, the war is over.'''

 

He spent the last year of the war in Germany at an infamous POW camp called Stalag Luft 1. Something that kept him going there, he told me in one of the rare moments when he talked about his war experiences, was his dream of owning a farm.

 

After Dad returned home in June 1945, he persuaded the girl who had spurned him before the war to marry him. I was born the following July and spent the first year of my life at Spook Hill Farm, my parents' new home in rural Maryland. One of my favorite pictures in the family album is of me dressed in a snowsuit, being held close by my beaming dad.

 

I rarely saw him smile beyond the borders of that photograph. Farming was hard work and there was no money in it, as my father was soon to discover, and he and his new bride had been raised in privilege. The daughter of a mining engineer turned successful stockbroker, my mother had grown up on a large estate in Middleburg, Virginia-fox hunting country. She had gone to Sarah Lawrence, then one of the most elite and progressive women's colleges, for three years. They were both unaccustomed to doing with less. So he sold the farm and took a string of jobs as a professional fund-raiser, and we moved from place to place: Baltimore to Buffalo to Indianapolis to Princeton to Baltimore again. My mother had to manage the moves while taking care of me and my younger sister and brother.

 

Country life was in my father's blood, though, and so when I was six, he bought another farm in Maryland. This time, he had a full-time tenant farmer run the place while he commuted daily to Baltimore, where he had formed an investment group to buy underperforming companies, turn them around through better management, and then sell them at what he hoped would be a profit.

 

Noon's Delight, as the new farm was called, encompassed rolling grassy hills dotted with patches of green woodland, all sweeping down to an intimate, emerald valley. A stream called Piney Run snaked along the valley floor, sometimes fast, sometimes slow. Glints of sunlight sparkled on the spots of swift water, while in the slow pools, beneath the shade of an ancient oak, wary fish lurked. And throughout all the fenced hillside pastures and in the valley, our herd of Black Angus mooed and munched their way through the day. For the next six years, the farm was my work, my play, my solitary sanctuary from school.

 

My father left early and came home late, and weekends were for golf. I think he may have been more enamored of the pastoral fantasy of living as landed gentry on an "estate" rather than the reality of running a farm. My mother wasn't involved with the farm work. She spent much of her day carpooling kids to school and managing the household, though she always found time to read, dabble in photography and watercolor, and occasionally play the piano or listen to her favorite opera. Earle, the resident farmer who lived with his family in a small house in one corner of our valley, did all of the work, with a little help from occasional hired guys, his kids, and me.

 

Besides our herd of cattle, we had a few of most every kind of critter, and my job was to trudge down to the big white clapboard barn every night to feed the hungry hordes. Pigs, horses, our two Great Danes, the chickens, of course, and those damned geese, which my father had named after his least favorite sister-in-law and her husband. Get too close to them, and they'd nip you with their sharp beaks.

 

After feeding time, I'd flick off the light switch and linger as inky darkness crept across the valley, watching the animal shadows root and chew, listening to their snorts and grunts, feeling the heat rise from their bodies on cold nights. Walking slowly back to the house, to face that night's homework, I craned my neck to see the endless sky sparkling with stars. The Milky Way, solar systems, galaxies, the universe-what were they, how did they get there? I had so many questions.

 

Haying was the hardest chore. The bales were huge and heavy-too much for me to lift-but I could roll them into piles of three or four, making it quicker work for the guys coming along in the wagon. It was always hot and humid in haying season. After only an hour out in the fresh-cut pasture, I'd be soaking wet, with itchy, loose strands of straw sticking to my skin. There was often no stopping, as thunderstorms frequently sneaked up over the hills in the late afternoon, and all the hay had to be picked up and brought to the barn before the rain came on. I'd ride on top of the bales on the last wagon back, wrung out and parched, half delirious with exhaustion, but proud.

 

When I wasn't needed to help with the haying, my time was my own, and the farm was my cosmos to discover.

 

I hiked the hills with my dog, Smutty, to see what was beyond, only to find more hills, more woods, and more pastures on distant farms. I ventured into the hardwood forests and clambered up a rocky outcropping so I could look down through the ash and maple canopies beneath me and wonder what lived there in the spooky shadows.

 

Then, sweaty from my explorations, I scrambled down the hillside to the valley where the stream meandered, splashing in the waist-deep pools of icy, blue-green water. I dammed the flow in the shallows, watching it forge new rivulets around my sticks and rocks. Finally, worn out from my adventuring, I lay back on the grassy bank and watched islands of white clouds drift slowly across a lazy sky.

"Wagner’s passionate memoir serves as blueprint for educators looking to inspire their own students." —Publishers Weekly

"This honest and thoughtful memoir reminds readers what’s at the heart of learning—a unique individual—and that school cannot be a one-size-fits-all approach." —Booklist

"Tony Wagner has written an irresistible coming-of-age memoir that is an extended reverie on education—what it is, what it’s not, and why it matters. This story of mental, emotional, and moral awakening will touch your heart.” —Daniel H. Pink, author of When and Drive

“Eloquent, intimate… Tony Wagner’s memoir is a much-needed account of how unconventional kids navigate a conventional education. I love this book, find hope in Wagner’s story, and will be recommending it to parents who worry that their children won’t find their way in the world.” —Jessica Lahey, New York Times bestselling author of The Gift of Failure

“If you think you know what it means to be ‘smart’ or a ‘lifelong learner’ read Learning By Heart and be prepared to have your assumptions challenged. Wagner artfully reminds us of what we already know, that smart and learning take place at a far different intersection, one where curiosity, creativity and perseverance meet.” —Madeline Levine, Ph.D. Co-founder Challenge Success, Stanford Graduate School of Education, author of The Price of Privilege and Ready or Not

"An intriguing and moving account of how a wayward student became a master teacher as well as a thought leader in education.” —Howard Gardner, author of Mind, Work, and Life

“True to Wagner’s guiding principle, this compelling memoir will help you make sense of yourself and the world around you.” —Ted Dintersmith, author of What School Could Be, and Executive Producer of Most Likely to Succeed 

“Wagner’s personal trials and tribulations as a teacher and school head made him the leading modern ethnographer of how schools change. His memoir is an indictment of traditional content-based secondary education and a call for a more humane ecologically minded, learner-centric system... and is now more relevant than ever as we reconsider learning for the innovation age.” —Tom Vander Ark, author of Getting Smart

Learning By Heart exposes the twinned problems of authority and shame cooked into our traditional educational institutions and generously offers an alternative way of learning based on purpose, respect, inspiration, joy, and even love.” —Cathy N. Davidson, Founding Director, The Futures Initiative, The Graduate Center, CUNY, and author of The New Education

“Dr Tony Wagner has given us a great gift with this autobiography. In teaching us how to develop the potential of our students, he reveals himself in a way most successful people do not, showing his failures as well of successes. He shows educators that when we challenge ourselves to ask what is the purpose of education and how do we best serve that purpose even when you swim against the current, it starts building a powerful purposeful student-centered environment in which our students can thrive. Tony makes it clear none of us can do this alone, but in taking us through his journey, he demonstrates the power of education and educators.” —Randi Weingarten, President, American Federation of Teachers

“This book has profound lessons for educators today.” —Diane Ravitch, Historian & Author

“This is essential reading for anyone doing research in education and anyone undertaking a career in education. So much wisdom packed into these pages.” —Esther Wojcicki, Founder, Palo Alto High Media Arts Program and author of How to Raise Successful People

Learning By Heart is an important series of stories that could and should spark many discussions. Highly recommended - and hard to put down.” —Ulrik Juul Christensen, MD, Executive Chairman of Area9 Group

"I admire Tony’s gumption, his refusal to follow conventional wisdom, his unflinching honesty about his own failures, and his unshakable belief that there’s a better world out there—and that he was destined to improve the work of teachers everywhere." —John Merrow, Founding President of Learning Matters

"Learning by Heart transforms the young Tony Wagner’s pain into a journey of compassion, imagination, wit, and, finally, triumphant success. Fast paced, original, and beautifully written, it is of the most honest and useful memoirs I’ve read in recent years." —Rebecca Pepper Sinkler, former editor of The New York Times Book Review

Learning by Heart revels in rich storytelling to reveal why classrooms—or conversations—demand deep listening for anyone ready to learn the compelling lessons of the heart. His life quest and this book delivers.” —Hal Gregersen, Executive Director of the MIT Leadership Center

"Part memoir, part manifesto, Learning By Heart is a powerful counter blast: a full-blooded testament to the inescapably personal nature of teaching and learning.” —Sir Ken Robinson, New York Times bestselling author of The Element

About

“A page turner. With candor and clarity, Tony Wagner tells the story of his remarkable life and, in so doing, tells the story of our education system.”
Angela Duckworth, Founder and CEO, Character Lab, and New York Times bestselling author of Grit

One of the world's top experts on education delivers an uplifting memoir on his own personal failures and successes as he sought to become a good learner and teacher.


Tony Wagner is an eminent education specialist: he has taught at every grade level from high school through graduate school; worked at Harvard; done significant work for the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation; and speaks across the country and all over the world. But before he found his success, Wagner was kicked out of middle school, expelled from high school, and dropped out of two colleges. Learning by Heart is his powerful account of his years as a student and teacher.

After struggling in both roles, he learned to create meaningful learning experiences despite the constraints of conventional schooling--initially for himself and then for his students--based on understanding each student's real interests and strengthening his or her intrinsic motivations. Wagner's story sheds light on critical issues facing parents and educators today, and reminds us that trial and error, resilience, and respect for the individual, are at the very heart of all teaching and learning.

Author

Tony Wagner is an eminent education specialist: he has taught at every grade level from high school through graduate school; worked at Harvard; done significant work for the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation; and speaks across the country and all over the world. He is the author of Creating InnovatorsThe Global Achievement Gap, and Most Likely to Succeed. View titles by Tony Wagner

Excerpt

One

 

The Dropout

 

When i talk to people who have pleasant memories of their school years, they rarely mention the classes they took. Those who remember school fondly are far more likely to recall it as a time in their life when they had fun with friends. Or they excelled at a sport or joined in an extracurricular activity that excited them. Almost invariably, they say classes were easy for them, and so they got along with their teachers and brought home good grades that pleased their parents.

 

For many students-those for whom school is hard for whatever reason, or who are not popular or good athletes-school is tedious at best, torturous at worst. I was such a student. School for me was a giant jigsaw puzzle with many hundreds of tiny pieces-a puzzle that came with no picture to guide me or tell me how it was all supposed to turn out. I was lost.

 

From first through sixth grade, I went to a small, coeducational private day school half an hour's drive from where my family lived. I have only hazy memories of my classes and teachers there-things scrawled on the blackboard that we were told were important for us to know; heavy, dull textbooks that had to be lugged to and from school every day. What I remember most vividly was being an outlier. Most of the other kids were from the suburbs, and they saw each other frequently, after school and on weekends. But not me. We lived too far away. And so during recess, I wasn't invited to join in their play. I mostly just watched from the sidelines.

 

I was also slow to learn to read. Some kids naturally learn much later than others, and then, all too often, parent anxiety and teacher pressure fester and turn a late reader into an insecure learner. For several years, my mother dragged me to a tutor once a week. Mrs. Gray was patient and warm, unlike my teachers at school, and by fourth grade I was proficient. But the beginner reading books, organized by level of difficulty, and the assigned textbooks bored me, and I took no pleasure in reading them. I liked the smell of the blue ditto sheets, fresh off the mimeograph machine, that were sent home with us every night, but I hated doing the same math problems over and over. They were even worse than the reading assignments. I didn't do the homework most of the time.

 

About a year or so after I'd really gotten the knack of reading, I fell in love with it just for pleasure. At first it was a series of books called We Were There. Each book was a fictional retelling of a real historical event featuring one or more kids as the main characters. I don't remember where I got the first one, but it took me awhile to get into it. By the age of eleven or so, I was reading most every night-for myself, not for school.

 

I trekked the Oregon Trail, fought at the Battle of Gettysburg, dumped tea at the Boston Tea Party, nearly froze to death with Admiral Byrd at the South Pole. But it was the books about World War II that most captivated me: I'd watched, horrified and helpless, as the Japanese Zeros screamed out of the sky and bombed our fleet at Pearl Harbor; I ate bugs to survive in the jungle during the Battle of Bataan; I charged ferociously at the German pillboxes above the beaches of Normandy.

 

I went on to read about the different ground campaigns of the war. The German general Erwin Rommel, known as the Desert Fox, fascinated me by the way he kept sneaking around the desert, attacking the British, then slipping away. Then I got interested in battles between big ships. I begged my parents to let me watch Victory at Sea, a TV documentary that each week depicted a different naval engagement of the war, using original film footage. The program always closed with the first verse of "The Navy Hymn":

 

Eternal Father, strong to save,

Whose arm hath bound the restless wave,

Who bidd'st the mighty ocean deep

Its own appointed limits keep;

Oh, hear us when we cry to Thee,

For those in peril on the sea!

 

The music gave me shivers and made me feel sad. All I felt when they sang the hymns at our little Episcopal church each Sunday was impatience for the service to be over. I tried to imagine what it must have been like to be on a destroyer, manning a gun under fire from a Japanese battleship, terrified that a kamikaze would fly into us.

 

I knew what I would have done if I'd been in the war. I'd have been a fighter pilot, like my dad. In We Were There at the Battle of Britain, I flew a Spitfire and blew the German Messerschmitt Bf 109s and the Focke-Wulf Fw 190s out of the sky as we battled for air supremacy to save Britain from invasion. After finishing that story, I sought out others about aerial combat during World War II. I learned the names, armament, and performance characteristics of every fighter plane that fought in the war. I wondered which was best: the American P51 Mustang or the British Spitfire. The P51 was faster and had more guns, but the Spitfire was much more maneuverable, like a sports car.

 

On my father's bureau, I had seen a small silver-framed photograph of him wearing his officer's uniform and standing next to the nose of his Spitfire. There was so much that I wanted to ask him-not just about his plane, but what it had really been like to be in the war. Like so many World War II vets, though, he rarely talked about his experiences.

 

I did get some answers many years later when, at the age of seventy, Dad sat down to write a short account of his war experiences, "for his children and grandchildren," he said.

 

The outbreak of the war in Europe in 1939 found my father selling insurance, taking a few courses at Johns Hopkins University, and playing golf. "My school and college record was spotty at best," he wrote. "My life was golf and good times."

 

His other passion was flying.

 

While he had only three hours' experience in a friend's small private plane and had never soloed, he wanted to join the Army Air Corps. But he didn't have the required college degree, and there was a year's wait. At a Labor Day party in 1941, my father met a former Royal Air Force pilot and asked for help. It turned out that the RAF was desperate for pilots-having lost so many in the Battle of Britain the previous year-and so in November 1941, at the age of twenty-one, my father found himself as the only American cadet in a British Flying Training School. Of the sixty pilots in his cohort who graduated and received their wings, only half survived the war.

 

My father graduated at the top of his class, although he'd cheated on his Morse code exam, he confessed. Because all plane communications were by radio then, he never saw the point of learning it.

 

After serving as a flight instructor for several months and surviving a midair collision that required him to bail out over the Bristol Channel, Dad was offered his choice of assignments. He asked to be posted to the Forty-first Squadron because they were flying one of the hottest fighter planes of the war-the legendary Spitfire MkXII. For the next several years, he flew numerous offensive and defensive "sorties"-"scrambling" to chase after German fighter planes, escorting bombers on runs over France, strafing ships and locomotives, getting shot up by antiaircraft guns and limping back to base. His pilot's log reads like a script for a classic World War II movie:

 

"Cover for bombers at Abbeville; Hugh Parry hit."

 

"Rear cover for 300 B17s returning from Paris area; about 50 FW190's about; saw one of our own Spits shot down in flames."

 

"Typhoons [a British single-seat fighter-bomber] at Le Havre bounced by six FW 190's; mixed with them; we got two."

 

"Met nine ME109's and FW190's head-on with 20 more above over Abbeville; Tom Spack and Dick Hogarth missing; Sargent Fisher shot up, claimed one 190 destroyed."

 

Despite the daily horror and constant danger, it was the happiest time of his life, my father once admitted to me. He was doing something that he loved-and doing it very well.

 

Four days before D-Day, he was shot down off the coast of German-occupied Guernsey in the English Channel.

 

"I sat in my dinghy all day long . . . two airborne life boats were dropped by a special air-sea rescue squadron, only to blow away beyond my reach," he wrote in his memoir. "Finally, at dusk, the Germans sent a French fishing boat out to get me. As I stepped ashore in Guernsey harbor, a German officer saluted me and said, in broken English, 'For you, the war is over.'''

 

He spent the last year of the war in Germany at an infamous POW camp called Stalag Luft 1. Something that kept him going there, he told me in one of the rare moments when he talked about his war experiences, was his dream of owning a farm.

 

After Dad returned home in June 1945, he persuaded the girl who had spurned him before the war to marry him. I was born the following July and spent the first year of my life at Spook Hill Farm, my parents' new home in rural Maryland. One of my favorite pictures in the family album is of me dressed in a snowsuit, being held close by my beaming dad.

 

I rarely saw him smile beyond the borders of that photograph. Farming was hard work and there was no money in it, as my father was soon to discover, and he and his new bride had been raised in privilege. The daughter of a mining engineer turned successful stockbroker, my mother had grown up on a large estate in Middleburg, Virginia-fox hunting country. She had gone to Sarah Lawrence, then one of the most elite and progressive women's colleges, for three years. They were both unaccustomed to doing with less. So he sold the farm and took a string of jobs as a professional fund-raiser, and we moved from place to place: Baltimore to Buffalo to Indianapolis to Princeton to Baltimore again. My mother had to manage the moves while taking care of me and my younger sister and brother.

 

Country life was in my father's blood, though, and so when I was six, he bought another farm in Maryland. This time, he had a full-time tenant farmer run the place while he commuted daily to Baltimore, where he had formed an investment group to buy underperforming companies, turn them around through better management, and then sell them at what he hoped would be a profit.

 

Noon's Delight, as the new farm was called, encompassed rolling grassy hills dotted with patches of green woodland, all sweeping down to an intimate, emerald valley. A stream called Piney Run snaked along the valley floor, sometimes fast, sometimes slow. Glints of sunlight sparkled on the spots of swift water, while in the slow pools, beneath the shade of an ancient oak, wary fish lurked. And throughout all the fenced hillside pastures and in the valley, our herd of Black Angus mooed and munched their way through the day. For the next six years, the farm was my work, my play, my solitary sanctuary from school.

 

My father left early and came home late, and weekends were for golf. I think he may have been more enamored of the pastoral fantasy of living as landed gentry on an "estate" rather than the reality of running a farm. My mother wasn't involved with the farm work. She spent much of her day carpooling kids to school and managing the household, though she always found time to read, dabble in photography and watercolor, and occasionally play the piano or listen to her favorite opera. Earle, the resident farmer who lived with his family in a small house in one corner of our valley, did all of the work, with a little help from occasional hired guys, his kids, and me.

 

Besides our herd of cattle, we had a few of most every kind of critter, and my job was to trudge down to the big white clapboard barn every night to feed the hungry hordes. Pigs, horses, our two Great Danes, the chickens, of course, and those damned geese, which my father had named after his least favorite sister-in-law and her husband. Get too close to them, and they'd nip you with their sharp beaks.

 

After feeding time, I'd flick off the light switch and linger as inky darkness crept across the valley, watching the animal shadows root and chew, listening to their snorts and grunts, feeling the heat rise from their bodies on cold nights. Walking slowly back to the house, to face that night's homework, I craned my neck to see the endless sky sparkling with stars. The Milky Way, solar systems, galaxies, the universe-what were they, how did they get there? I had so many questions.

 

Haying was the hardest chore. The bales were huge and heavy-too much for me to lift-but I could roll them into piles of three or four, making it quicker work for the guys coming along in the wagon. It was always hot and humid in haying season. After only an hour out in the fresh-cut pasture, I'd be soaking wet, with itchy, loose strands of straw sticking to my skin. There was often no stopping, as thunderstorms frequently sneaked up over the hills in the late afternoon, and all the hay had to be picked up and brought to the barn before the rain came on. I'd ride on top of the bales on the last wagon back, wrung out and parched, half delirious with exhaustion, but proud.

 

When I wasn't needed to help with the haying, my time was my own, and the farm was my cosmos to discover.

 

I hiked the hills with my dog, Smutty, to see what was beyond, only to find more hills, more woods, and more pastures on distant farms. I ventured into the hardwood forests and clambered up a rocky outcropping so I could look down through the ash and maple canopies beneath me and wonder what lived there in the spooky shadows.

 

Then, sweaty from my explorations, I scrambled down the hillside to the valley where the stream meandered, splashing in the waist-deep pools of icy, blue-green water. I dammed the flow in the shallows, watching it forge new rivulets around my sticks and rocks. Finally, worn out from my adventuring, I lay back on the grassy bank and watched islands of white clouds drift slowly across a lazy sky.

Praise

"Wagner’s passionate memoir serves as blueprint for educators looking to inspire their own students." —Publishers Weekly

"This honest and thoughtful memoir reminds readers what’s at the heart of learning—a unique individual—and that school cannot be a one-size-fits-all approach." —Booklist

"Tony Wagner has written an irresistible coming-of-age memoir that is an extended reverie on education—what it is, what it’s not, and why it matters. This story of mental, emotional, and moral awakening will touch your heart.” —Daniel H. Pink, author of When and Drive

“Eloquent, intimate… Tony Wagner’s memoir is a much-needed account of how unconventional kids navigate a conventional education. I love this book, find hope in Wagner’s story, and will be recommending it to parents who worry that their children won’t find their way in the world.” —Jessica Lahey, New York Times bestselling author of The Gift of Failure

“If you think you know what it means to be ‘smart’ or a ‘lifelong learner’ read Learning By Heart and be prepared to have your assumptions challenged. Wagner artfully reminds us of what we already know, that smart and learning take place at a far different intersection, one where curiosity, creativity and perseverance meet.” —Madeline Levine, Ph.D. Co-founder Challenge Success, Stanford Graduate School of Education, author of The Price of Privilege and Ready or Not

"An intriguing and moving account of how a wayward student became a master teacher as well as a thought leader in education.” —Howard Gardner, author of Mind, Work, and Life

“True to Wagner’s guiding principle, this compelling memoir will help you make sense of yourself and the world around you.” —Ted Dintersmith, author of What School Could Be, and Executive Producer of Most Likely to Succeed 

“Wagner’s personal trials and tribulations as a teacher and school head made him the leading modern ethnographer of how schools change. His memoir is an indictment of traditional content-based secondary education and a call for a more humane ecologically minded, learner-centric system... and is now more relevant than ever as we reconsider learning for the innovation age.” —Tom Vander Ark, author of Getting Smart

Learning By Heart exposes the twinned problems of authority and shame cooked into our traditional educational institutions and generously offers an alternative way of learning based on purpose, respect, inspiration, joy, and even love.” —Cathy N. Davidson, Founding Director, The Futures Initiative, The Graduate Center, CUNY, and author of The New Education

“Dr Tony Wagner has given us a great gift with this autobiography. In teaching us how to develop the potential of our students, he reveals himself in a way most successful people do not, showing his failures as well of successes. He shows educators that when we challenge ourselves to ask what is the purpose of education and how do we best serve that purpose even when you swim against the current, it starts building a powerful purposeful student-centered environment in which our students can thrive. Tony makes it clear none of us can do this alone, but in taking us through his journey, he demonstrates the power of education and educators.” —Randi Weingarten, President, American Federation of Teachers

“This book has profound lessons for educators today.” —Diane Ravitch, Historian & Author

“This is essential reading for anyone doing research in education and anyone undertaking a career in education. So much wisdom packed into these pages.” —Esther Wojcicki, Founder, Palo Alto High Media Arts Program and author of How to Raise Successful People

Learning By Heart is an important series of stories that could and should spark many discussions. Highly recommended - and hard to put down.” —Ulrik Juul Christensen, MD, Executive Chairman of Area9 Group

"I admire Tony’s gumption, his refusal to follow conventional wisdom, his unflinching honesty about his own failures, and his unshakable belief that there’s a better world out there—and that he was destined to improve the work of teachers everywhere." —John Merrow, Founding President of Learning Matters

"Learning by Heart transforms the young Tony Wagner’s pain into a journey of compassion, imagination, wit, and, finally, triumphant success. Fast paced, original, and beautifully written, it is of the most honest and useful memoirs I’ve read in recent years." —Rebecca Pepper Sinkler, former editor of The New York Times Book Review

Learning by Heart revels in rich storytelling to reveal why classrooms—or conversations—demand deep listening for anyone ready to learn the compelling lessons of the heart. His life quest and this book delivers.” —Hal Gregersen, Executive Director of the MIT Leadership Center

"Part memoir, part manifesto, Learning By Heart is a powerful counter blast: a full-blooded testament to the inescapably personal nature of teaching and learning.” —Sir Ken Robinson, New York Times bestselling author of The Element

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