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Gun Love

A Novel

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LONGLISTED FOR THE NATIONAL BOOK AWARD • “Fortified with wit and tenderness . . . Gun Love potently illuminates a puzzled land.”—O: The Oprah Magazine

NAMED ONE OF THE TEN BEST FICTION BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY TIME • SHORTLISTED FOR THE ASPEN WORDS LITERARY PRIZE

The searing, unforgettable story of a young girl's resilience, by the award-winning author of Prayers for the Stolen


Pearl's mother took her away from her family just weeks after she was born, and drove off to central Florida determined to begin a new life for herself and her daughter--in the parking lot next to a trailer park. Pearl grew up in the front seat of their '94 Mercury, while her mother lived in the back. Despite their hardships, mother and daughter both adjusted to life, making friends with the residents of the trailers and creating a deep connection to each other. All around them, Florida is populated with gun owners--those hunting alligators for sport, those who want to protect their families, and those who create a sense of danger. 

Written in a gorgeous lyric all its own, Gun Love is the story of a tough but optimistic young woman growing up in contemporary America, in the midst of its harrowing love affair with firearms.
© Barbara Sibley
Jennifer Clement is the author of multiple books, including Widow Basquiat and Gun Love. She was awarded the NEA Fellowship for Literature and the Sara Curry Humanitarian Award for Prayers for the Stolen. The president of PEN International, she currently lives in Mexico City. View titles by Jennifer Clement

1

My mother was a cup of sugar. You could borrow her anytime.

My mother was so sweet, her hands were always birthday-party sticky. Her breath held the five flavors of Life Savers candy.

And she knew all the love songs that are a university for love. She knew “Slowly Walk Close to Me,” “Where Did You Sleep Last Night,” “Born Under a Bad Sign,” and all the I’ll-kill-you-if-you-leave-me-songs.

But sweetness is always looking for Mr. Bad and Mr. Bad can pick out Miss Sweet in any crowd.

My mother opened her mouth in a great wide O and breathed him right into her body.

I couldn’t understand. She knew all the songs, so why would she get messed and stirred up with this man?

When he said his name was Eli she was down on her knees.

His voice tamed her immediately. The first words he said were all she needed. He spoke singing, I am your medicine sweet baby my oh me oh my your name has always been written on my heart.

And from there on all he had to do was whistle for her.


2

Me? I was raised in a car and, when you live in a car, you’re not worried about storms and lightning, you’re afraid of a tow truck.

My mother and I moved into the Mercury when she was seventeen and I was a newborn. So our car, at the edge of a trailer park in the middle of Florida, was the only home I ever knew. We lived a dot-to-dot life, never thinking too much about the future.

The old car had been bought for my mother on her sixteenth birthday.

The 1994 Mercury Topaz automatic had once been red but was now covered in several coats of white from my mother painting the car every few years as if it were a house. The red paint still appeared under scratches and scrapes. Out the front window was a view of the trailer park and a large sign that read: WELCOME TO INDIAN WATERS TRAILER PARK.

Our car was turned off under a sign that said Visitors Parking. My mother thought we’d only be there for a month or two, but we stopped there for fourteen years.

Once in a while when people asked my mother what it was like to live in a car, she answered, You’re always looking for a shower.

The only thing we ever really worried about was CPS, Child Protective Services, coming around. My mother was afraid that someone at my school or her job might think they should call the abuse hotline on her and take me off to a foster home.

She knew the acronyms that were like the rest-in-peace letters on tombstones: CPSL, Child Protective Services Law; FCP, Foster Care Plus; and FF, Family Finding.

We can’t go around making too many friends, my mother said. There’s always some person who wants to be a saint and sit on a chair in heaven. A friend can become Your Honor in an instant.

Since when is living in a car something you can call abuse? she asked without expecting me to answer.

The park was located in the center of Florida, in Putnam County. The land had been cleared to hold at least fifteen trailers, but there were only four trailers that were occupied. My friend April May lived in one with her parents, Rose and Sergeant Bob. Pastor Rex inhabited one all by himself while Mrs. Roberta Young and her adult daughter Noelle occupied one right next to the dilapidated recreation area. A Mexican couple, Corazón and Ray, lived in a trailer toward the back of the park, far from the entrance and our car.

We were not in the south of Florida near the warm beaches and the Gulf of Mexico. We were not near the orange groves or close to St. Augustine, the oldest city in America. We were not near the Everglades, where clouds of mosquitos and a thick canopy of vines protected delicate orchids. Miami, with its sounds of Cuban music and streets filled with convertibles, was a long drive. Animal Kingdom and the Magic Kingdom were miles away. We were nowhere.

Two highways and a creek, which we all called a river but was only a small stream off the St. John’s, surrounded the trailer park. The town dump was at the back through some trees. We breathed in the garbage. We breathed in the gas of rot and rust, the corroded batteries, decomposing food, deadly hospital waste, the odors of medicines and the cloud of cleaning chemicals.

My mother said, Who would clear land for a trailer park and a garbage dump on sacred Indian ground? This land belongs to the Timucua tribes and their spirits are everywhere. If you plant a seed, something else grows. If you plant a rose, a carnation comes out of the ground. If you plant a lemon tree, this earth will give you a palm tree. If you plant a white oak, a tall man will grow. The ground here is puzzled.

My mother was right. In our part of Florida everything was puzzled. Life was always like shoes on the wrong foot.

When I read over the headlines on the newspapers that were lined up at the checkout counter at the local store beside the gum and candy, I knew Florida was asking for something. I read: DON’T CALL 911 BUY A GUN; BEAR RETURNS TO CITY AFTER BEING RELOCATED; DEADLY MEXICAN HEROIN KILLS FOUR; AND HURRICANE BECOMES A CLOUDY DAY.

One summer, conjoined twin alligators appeared near our river. They had four legs and two heads.

It was my friend April May who found them. She’d been down by the river when she saw the baby alligators crawl out of the sandy earth beside the short wood dock. They still had white pieces of eggshell on the green, scaly back they shared.

April May didn’t stick around. She knew what we all knew: if there’s an alligator egg, then there’s an angry mother alligator nearby.

That afternoon, after word had spread through the park, everyone went down to the river to see if the babies were still there. Tiny specs of white eggshells lay broke around the alligators, as the creatures had not moved from the very place they’d been born, and no mother alligator ever appeared. The babies were each only a little larger than a chick.

The next morning, the first local journalists began to arrive. By the afternoon, reporters from national television stations in trucks with filming equipment had moved in. Before dusk, someone had tied one of the creatures’ four legs to a palm tree with a thin blue sewing thread so that it could not escape.

For two days our quiet visitors’ parking area outside the trailer park was filled with cars and news trucks and all their broadcasting equipment. Our baby conjoined twin alligators, born from our jigsaw land, were on the national news.

Only one reporter, a tall and slim black woman with light green eyes wearing a CNN News baseball cap, was interested in our car house. She tripped on us by accident. As she marched toward the river something made her stop at the open window of our car.

My mother was at her job. She worked as a cleaning lady at the veterans’ hospital. I was just home from school and making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on the dashboard.

The reporter leaned over and poked her head inside the Mercury’s window. She looked around.

Do you live in here? she asked, and peered into the backseat.

I nodded.

Is that yours? Did you draw that? she asked, and pointed to a crayon drawing of the solar system that was stuck to the back of the driver’s seat with pieces of scotch tape.

On her finger were a gold wedding band and engagement ring with a large diamond.

My eyes were always looking at women’s hands to see if they were married. My mother said rings were like a passport or a driver’s license for love.

I nodded and placed the bread I was coating with a thick layer of blueberry jelly back on the plate.

No, don’t stop making your lunch, she said. I’m going to ask you about the baby alligators, okay? But first I need to ask you some basic questions. How old are you?

I’m nine.

I couldn’t stop looking at her gold-love-forever rings.

I was nine then. I remember this perfectly because the alligators appeared the week before my tenth birthday. I also think of my life living in the car as divided in two parts—before my mother met Eli Redmond and afterward. Those words—“before” and “afterward”—belonged on a clock.

And you live in this car? the reporter asked. She peered in and placed her head almost completely inside the window. What’s your name?

Pearl.

How long have you lived here?

Since being a baby.

But what about a bathroom? she asked.

We use the park, the trailer park’s bathroom. The one next to the playground. Sometimes they cut off the water as it smells bad because of the garbage dump. On those days we go to McDonald’s and brush our teeth there.

Why does the water smell so bad?

Everyone here knows it’s the dump. The garbage is bad for our water.

That’s a very fancy plate you’re eating on, the reporter said.

I looked at the white porcelain plate covered with delicate pink flowers and green leaves.

It’s Limoges, I said. From France.

The reporter was quiet for a few seconds and then asked, Do you like living in a car?

You can get away fast if there’s a disaster. Well, that’s what my mother likes to say.

The reporter smiled and walked away. She never asked me about the alligators.

Within three days, all the reporters had left because, on the third morning after the discovery, the alligators were dead.

  • SHORTLIST | 2019
    Aspen Words Literary Prize
  • LONGLIST | 2018
    Aspen Words Literary Prize
  • LONGLIST | 2018
    National Book Award
  • LONGLIST | 2018
    National Book Awards
“Dreamy . . . as if to suggest the self-delusion of the real-life actors involved . . . the writing is crisp and the images sharp.”New York Times Book Review (Editors' Choice)

“Offer[s] a glimpse of what a poetics of gun violence might look like . . . In this book, the machinery of violence purchases a sense of belonging—of thrilling, life-or-death simplicity.”—Katy Waldman, The New Yorker

“This book feel like a great lost murder ballad by the likes of Johnny Cash or Nick Cave. . . . There are echoes here of other great chroniclers of violence, such as Cormac McCarthy, and this is one of those rare books that the reader might wish to be a few dozen pages longer, to spend some more time in this fully realised world.”Alexander Larman, The Observer

“Through a memorable coming-of-age story set in America’s margins, Clement makes all of these things true at once: A gun is a valentine, a secret-bearer, a penitent, a world destroyer, an exposed belly, an insurance policy, a sudden act of God.”Salon

“Clement creates a weird poetry of murderous force. Chekhov’s narrative principle—that a gun hung on the wall in the first act must eventually go off—has become a metaphorical rule of storytelling. To reflect American reality, Ms Clement puts a gun on every wall in every room.”The Economist

“That this novel cast a deep spell on me that has yet to subside. Clement relays Pearl’s trouble-strewn story in the kind of prose that gets called “poetic”: it’s taut, spare, musical, metaphor-laden, haunting, and every so often hits you so hard in the gut that you gasp.”—Jonathan Miles, BookPage "What They're Reading"

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been so mesmerized with a novel’s each next sentence. Jennifer Clement is one of our most inventive novelists. There’s no telling what she’ll see. Whatever it is, it’s something right in front of us, but—here is the magic trick—something we have never before seen. Gun Love is an amazement: fierce, inventive, tender.”—Rick Bass

“Jennifer Clement is a master at creating worlds that feel like tiny dioramas —modern allegories, reflecting and responding to social issues while still feeling contained and mystical, like something you’d see inside of the world’s most ornate snow globe, or a theme park — that is, until politics invade these worlds, and these worlds become recognizable as ones that exist both on and off the page.”Miami Rail Review

“Clement is a brilliant stylist; her figurative language is far more than fine; her metaphors and similes are superb; and together they create a haunting atmosphere—sometimes fey, occasionally whimsical, no stranger to tragedy but always heartfelt and spot-on, as are her beautifully realized, captivating characters. Though suigeneris, her work may remind some readers of Flannery O’Connor’s. Always evocative, it is an unforgettable knockout not to be missed.”— Booklist (starred)

About

LONGLISTED FOR THE NATIONAL BOOK AWARD • “Fortified with wit and tenderness . . . Gun Love potently illuminates a puzzled land.”—O: The Oprah Magazine

NAMED ONE OF THE TEN BEST FICTION BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY TIME • SHORTLISTED FOR THE ASPEN WORDS LITERARY PRIZE

The searing, unforgettable story of a young girl's resilience, by the award-winning author of Prayers for the Stolen


Pearl's mother took her away from her family just weeks after she was born, and drove off to central Florida determined to begin a new life for herself and her daughter--in the parking lot next to a trailer park. Pearl grew up in the front seat of their '94 Mercury, while her mother lived in the back. Despite their hardships, mother and daughter both adjusted to life, making friends with the residents of the trailers and creating a deep connection to each other. All around them, Florida is populated with gun owners--those hunting alligators for sport, those who want to protect their families, and those who create a sense of danger. 

Written in a gorgeous lyric all its own, Gun Love is the story of a tough but optimistic young woman growing up in contemporary America, in the midst of its harrowing love affair with firearms.

Author

© Barbara Sibley
Jennifer Clement is the author of multiple books, including Widow Basquiat and Gun Love. She was awarded the NEA Fellowship for Literature and the Sara Curry Humanitarian Award for Prayers for the Stolen. The president of PEN International, she currently lives in Mexico City. View titles by Jennifer Clement

Excerpt

1

My mother was a cup of sugar. You could borrow her anytime.

My mother was so sweet, her hands were always birthday-party sticky. Her breath held the five flavors of Life Savers candy.

And she knew all the love songs that are a university for love. She knew “Slowly Walk Close to Me,” “Where Did You Sleep Last Night,” “Born Under a Bad Sign,” and all the I’ll-kill-you-if-you-leave-me-songs.

But sweetness is always looking for Mr. Bad and Mr. Bad can pick out Miss Sweet in any crowd.

My mother opened her mouth in a great wide O and breathed him right into her body.

I couldn’t understand. She knew all the songs, so why would she get messed and stirred up with this man?

When he said his name was Eli she was down on her knees.

His voice tamed her immediately. The first words he said were all she needed. He spoke singing, I am your medicine sweet baby my oh me oh my your name has always been written on my heart.

And from there on all he had to do was whistle for her.


2

Me? I was raised in a car and, when you live in a car, you’re not worried about storms and lightning, you’re afraid of a tow truck.

My mother and I moved into the Mercury when she was seventeen and I was a newborn. So our car, at the edge of a trailer park in the middle of Florida, was the only home I ever knew. We lived a dot-to-dot life, never thinking too much about the future.

The old car had been bought for my mother on her sixteenth birthday.

The 1994 Mercury Topaz automatic had once been red but was now covered in several coats of white from my mother painting the car every few years as if it were a house. The red paint still appeared under scratches and scrapes. Out the front window was a view of the trailer park and a large sign that read: WELCOME TO INDIAN WATERS TRAILER PARK.

Our car was turned off under a sign that said Visitors Parking. My mother thought we’d only be there for a month or two, but we stopped there for fourteen years.

Once in a while when people asked my mother what it was like to live in a car, she answered, You’re always looking for a shower.

The only thing we ever really worried about was CPS, Child Protective Services, coming around. My mother was afraid that someone at my school or her job might think they should call the abuse hotline on her and take me off to a foster home.

She knew the acronyms that were like the rest-in-peace letters on tombstones: CPSL, Child Protective Services Law; FCP, Foster Care Plus; and FF, Family Finding.

We can’t go around making too many friends, my mother said. There’s always some person who wants to be a saint and sit on a chair in heaven. A friend can become Your Honor in an instant.

Since when is living in a car something you can call abuse? she asked without expecting me to answer.

The park was located in the center of Florida, in Putnam County. The land had been cleared to hold at least fifteen trailers, but there were only four trailers that were occupied. My friend April May lived in one with her parents, Rose and Sergeant Bob. Pastor Rex inhabited one all by himself while Mrs. Roberta Young and her adult daughter Noelle occupied one right next to the dilapidated recreation area. A Mexican couple, Corazón and Ray, lived in a trailer toward the back of the park, far from the entrance and our car.

We were not in the south of Florida near the warm beaches and the Gulf of Mexico. We were not near the orange groves or close to St. Augustine, the oldest city in America. We were not near the Everglades, where clouds of mosquitos and a thick canopy of vines protected delicate orchids. Miami, with its sounds of Cuban music and streets filled with convertibles, was a long drive. Animal Kingdom and the Magic Kingdom were miles away. We were nowhere.

Two highways and a creek, which we all called a river but was only a small stream off the St. John’s, surrounded the trailer park. The town dump was at the back through some trees. We breathed in the garbage. We breathed in the gas of rot and rust, the corroded batteries, decomposing food, deadly hospital waste, the odors of medicines and the cloud of cleaning chemicals.

My mother said, Who would clear land for a trailer park and a garbage dump on sacred Indian ground? This land belongs to the Timucua tribes and their spirits are everywhere. If you plant a seed, something else grows. If you plant a rose, a carnation comes out of the ground. If you plant a lemon tree, this earth will give you a palm tree. If you plant a white oak, a tall man will grow. The ground here is puzzled.

My mother was right. In our part of Florida everything was puzzled. Life was always like shoes on the wrong foot.

When I read over the headlines on the newspapers that were lined up at the checkout counter at the local store beside the gum and candy, I knew Florida was asking for something. I read: DON’T CALL 911 BUY A GUN; BEAR RETURNS TO CITY AFTER BEING RELOCATED; DEADLY MEXICAN HEROIN KILLS FOUR; AND HURRICANE BECOMES A CLOUDY DAY.

One summer, conjoined twin alligators appeared near our river. They had four legs and two heads.

It was my friend April May who found them. She’d been down by the river when she saw the baby alligators crawl out of the sandy earth beside the short wood dock. They still had white pieces of eggshell on the green, scaly back they shared.

April May didn’t stick around. She knew what we all knew: if there’s an alligator egg, then there’s an angry mother alligator nearby.

That afternoon, after word had spread through the park, everyone went down to the river to see if the babies were still there. Tiny specs of white eggshells lay broke around the alligators, as the creatures had not moved from the very place they’d been born, and no mother alligator ever appeared. The babies were each only a little larger than a chick.

The next morning, the first local journalists began to arrive. By the afternoon, reporters from national television stations in trucks with filming equipment had moved in. Before dusk, someone had tied one of the creatures’ four legs to a palm tree with a thin blue sewing thread so that it could not escape.

For two days our quiet visitors’ parking area outside the trailer park was filled with cars and news trucks and all their broadcasting equipment. Our baby conjoined twin alligators, born from our jigsaw land, were on the national news.

Only one reporter, a tall and slim black woman with light green eyes wearing a CNN News baseball cap, was interested in our car house. She tripped on us by accident. As she marched toward the river something made her stop at the open window of our car.

My mother was at her job. She worked as a cleaning lady at the veterans’ hospital. I was just home from school and making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on the dashboard.

The reporter leaned over and poked her head inside the Mercury’s window. She looked around.

Do you live in here? she asked, and peered into the backseat.

I nodded.

Is that yours? Did you draw that? she asked, and pointed to a crayon drawing of the solar system that was stuck to the back of the driver’s seat with pieces of scotch tape.

On her finger were a gold wedding band and engagement ring with a large diamond.

My eyes were always looking at women’s hands to see if they were married. My mother said rings were like a passport or a driver’s license for love.

I nodded and placed the bread I was coating with a thick layer of blueberry jelly back on the plate.

No, don’t stop making your lunch, she said. I’m going to ask you about the baby alligators, okay? But first I need to ask you some basic questions. How old are you?

I’m nine.

I couldn’t stop looking at her gold-love-forever rings.

I was nine then. I remember this perfectly because the alligators appeared the week before my tenth birthday. I also think of my life living in the car as divided in two parts—before my mother met Eli Redmond and afterward. Those words—“before” and “afterward”—belonged on a clock.

And you live in this car? the reporter asked. She peered in and placed her head almost completely inside the window. What’s your name?

Pearl.

How long have you lived here?

Since being a baby.

But what about a bathroom? she asked.

We use the park, the trailer park’s bathroom. The one next to the playground. Sometimes they cut off the water as it smells bad because of the garbage dump. On those days we go to McDonald’s and brush our teeth there.

Why does the water smell so bad?

Everyone here knows it’s the dump. The garbage is bad for our water.

That’s a very fancy plate you’re eating on, the reporter said.

I looked at the white porcelain plate covered with delicate pink flowers and green leaves.

It’s Limoges, I said. From France.

The reporter was quiet for a few seconds and then asked, Do you like living in a car?

You can get away fast if there’s a disaster. Well, that’s what my mother likes to say.

The reporter smiled and walked away. She never asked me about the alligators.

Within three days, all the reporters had left because, on the third morning after the discovery, the alligators were dead.

Awards

  • SHORTLIST | 2019
    Aspen Words Literary Prize
  • LONGLIST | 2018
    Aspen Words Literary Prize
  • LONGLIST | 2018
    National Book Award
  • LONGLIST | 2018
    National Book Awards

Praise

“Dreamy . . . as if to suggest the self-delusion of the real-life actors involved . . . the writing is crisp and the images sharp.”New York Times Book Review (Editors' Choice)

“Offer[s] a glimpse of what a poetics of gun violence might look like . . . In this book, the machinery of violence purchases a sense of belonging—of thrilling, life-or-death simplicity.”—Katy Waldman, The New Yorker

“This book feel like a great lost murder ballad by the likes of Johnny Cash or Nick Cave. . . . There are echoes here of other great chroniclers of violence, such as Cormac McCarthy, and this is one of those rare books that the reader might wish to be a few dozen pages longer, to spend some more time in this fully realised world.”Alexander Larman, The Observer

“Through a memorable coming-of-age story set in America’s margins, Clement makes all of these things true at once: A gun is a valentine, a secret-bearer, a penitent, a world destroyer, an exposed belly, an insurance policy, a sudden act of God.”Salon

“Clement creates a weird poetry of murderous force. Chekhov’s narrative principle—that a gun hung on the wall in the first act must eventually go off—has become a metaphorical rule of storytelling. To reflect American reality, Ms Clement puts a gun on every wall in every room.”The Economist

“That this novel cast a deep spell on me that has yet to subside. Clement relays Pearl’s trouble-strewn story in the kind of prose that gets called “poetic”: it’s taut, spare, musical, metaphor-laden, haunting, and every so often hits you so hard in the gut that you gasp.”—Jonathan Miles, BookPage "What They're Reading"

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been so mesmerized with a novel’s each next sentence. Jennifer Clement is one of our most inventive novelists. There’s no telling what she’ll see. Whatever it is, it’s something right in front of us, but—here is the magic trick—something we have never before seen. Gun Love is an amazement: fierce, inventive, tender.”—Rick Bass

“Jennifer Clement is a master at creating worlds that feel like tiny dioramas —modern allegories, reflecting and responding to social issues while still feeling contained and mystical, like something you’d see inside of the world’s most ornate snow globe, or a theme park — that is, until politics invade these worlds, and these worlds become recognizable as ones that exist both on and off the page.”Miami Rail Review

“Clement is a brilliant stylist; her figurative language is far more than fine; her metaphors and similes are superb; and together they create a haunting atmosphere—sometimes fey, occasionally whimsical, no stranger to tragedy but always heartfelt and spot-on, as are her beautifully realized, captivating characters. Though suigeneris, her work may remind some readers of Flannery O’Connor’s. Always evocative, it is an unforgettable knockout not to be missed.”— Booklist (starred)

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