Dancing at the Pity Party

Look inside
This acclaimed graphic memoir that Kirkus calls “cathartic and uplifting” is the tale of losing a parent and what it feels like to grieve and to move forward.

“I can’t recommend this kind, funny, and poignant memoir enough. It’s an intimate, life-affirming story of resilience that feels like a good friend.” —Mari Andrew, author of Am I There Yet?

Tyler Feder had just white-knuckled her way through her first year of college when her super cool mom was diagnosed with late-stage cancer. Now, with a decade of grief and nervous laughter under her belt, Tyler shares the story of that gut-wrenching, heart-pounding, extremely awkward time in her life—from her mom’s first oncology appointment to her funeral through the beginning of facing reality as a motherless daughter. She shares the sting of loss that never goes away, the uncomfortable post-death firsts, and the deep-down, hard-to-talk-about feelings of the grieving process.

Dancing at the Pity Party is a frank and refreshingly funny look at what it’s like to grieve—for anyone struggling with loss who just wants someone to get it.
Tyler Feder is a Chicago-based artist whose work explores Big Feelings, feminism, and pop culture. She graduated from Northwestern University with a BA in Radio/TV/Film and a fancy certificate in Creative Writing for the Media. After college, she studied comedy writing at The Second City Training Center and began posting drawings online, both of which were equal parts thrilling and terrifying. Since then, Tyler has illustrated Cristen Conger and Caroline Ervin’s Unladylike, Leah Henderson’s Together We March, and many angsty self-portraits. Tyler wrote and illustrated the acclaimed picture book Bodies Are Cool, and she continues to sell prints and the occasional portrait at her long-running Etsy shop, Roaring Softly. Tyler’s favorite color is pink (obviously). View titles by Tyler Feder
  • WINNER
    Sydney Taylor Book Award, Association of Jewish Libraries
  • NOMINEE
    YALSA Excellence in Nonfiction for Young Adults
  • RECOMMENDED
    ALA Quick Pick for Young Adult Reluctant Readers
  • RECOMMENDED | 2020
    School Library Journal Best Book of the Year
Sydney Taylor Young Adult Book Award Winner
School Library Journal 
Best Book of 2020
YALSA Quick Picks for Reluctant Young Adult Readers List
YALSA Great Graphic Novels for Teens List

YALSA Excellence in Nonfiction Nominee

★ "Sincere but not sappy, this bittersweet and affecting meditation on the author’s experiences also serves as a heartfelt celebration of her mother’s life.” —Horn Book

★ "Feder’s simple art features light pink backgrounds, a diverse cast of supporting characters, and details that make the story feel real . . .  this book offers a wealth of perspective about coping with grief." —Publishers Weekly, starred review

★ "Equal parts celebration, reflection, and mourning, this graphic memoir touches on the unpredictable path of grief . . . Grieving teens will find incredible solace in Feder’s story; all readers will be stirred by this wrenching yet uplifting musing." —School Library Journal, starred review

★ "Feder takes readers along on the nightmare road trip that nobody wants to make in a frank and funny, intimate and poignant graphic novel . . . The narrative, in peppily solid panel art, is exceptionally articulate and accessible." —BCCB, starred review

★ “Grief can be crushing, but this heartfelt memoir will comfort those who have known it and gently show those who haven’t how to help and what to expect.” —Booklist, starred review

"The pastel-toned illustrations effectively convey Feder's youth and the intensity of her emotions while emphasizing the ultimate message of survival and resilience in the face of life-changing grief. Cathartic and uplifting." —Kirkus Reviews

About

This acclaimed graphic memoir that Kirkus calls “cathartic and uplifting” is the tale of losing a parent and what it feels like to grieve and to move forward.

“I can’t recommend this kind, funny, and poignant memoir enough. It’s an intimate, life-affirming story of resilience that feels like a good friend.” —Mari Andrew, author of Am I There Yet?

Tyler Feder had just white-knuckled her way through her first year of college when her super cool mom was diagnosed with late-stage cancer. Now, with a decade of grief and nervous laughter under her belt, Tyler shares the story of that gut-wrenching, heart-pounding, extremely awkward time in her life—from her mom’s first oncology appointment to her funeral through the beginning of facing reality as a motherless daughter. She shares the sting of loss that never goes away, the uncomfortable post-death firsts, and the deep-down, hard-to-talk-about feelings of the grieving process.

Dancing at the Pity Party is a frank and refreshingly funny look at what it’s like to grieve—for anyone struggling with loss who just wants someone to get it.

Author

Tyler Feder is a Chicago-based artist whose work explores Big Feelings, feminism, and pop culture. She graduated from Northwestern University with a BA in Radio/TV/Film and a fancy certificate in Creative Writing for the Media. After college, she studied comedy writing at The Second City Training Center and began posting drawings online, both of which were equal parts thrilling and terrifying. Since then, Tyler has illustrated Cristen Conger and Caroline Ervin’s Unladylike, Leah Henderson’s Together We March, and many angsty self-portraits. Tyler wrote and illustrated the acclaimed picture book Bodies Are Cool, and she continues to sell prints and the occasional portrait at her long-running Etsy shop, Roaring Softly. Tyler’s favorite color is pink (obviously). View titles by Tyler Feder

Awards

  • WINNER
    Sydney Taylor Book Award, Association of Jewish Libraries
  • NOMINEE
    YALSA Excellence in Nonfiction for Young Adults
  • RECOMMENDED
    ALA Quick Pick for Young Adult Reluctant Readers
  • RECOMMENDED | 2020
    School Library Journal Best Book of the Year

Praise

Sydney Taylor Young Adult Book Award Winner
School Library Journal 
Best Book of 2020
YALSA Quick Picks for Reluctant Young Adult Readers List
YALSA Great Graphic Novels for Teens List

YALSA Excellence in Nonfiction Nominee

★ "Sincere but not sappy, this bittersweet and affecting meditation on the author’s experiences also serves as a heartfelt celebration of her mother’s life.” —Horn Book

★ "Feder’s simple art features light pink backgrounds, a diverse cast of supporting characters, and details that make the story feel real . . .  this book offers a wealth of perspective about coping with grief." —Publishers Weekly, starred review

★ "Equal parts celebration, reflection, and mourning, this graphic memoir touches on the unpredictable path of grief . . . Grieving teens will find incredible solace in Feder’s story; all readers will be stirred by this wrenching yet uplifting musing." —School Library Journal, starred review

★ "Feder takes readers along on the nightmare road trip that nobody wants to make in a frank and funny, intimate and poignant graphic novel . . . The narrative, in peppily solid panel art, is exceptionally articulate and accessible." —BCCB, starred review

★ “Grief can be crushing, but this heartfelt memoir will comfort those who have known it and gently show those who haven’t how to help and what to expect.” —Booklist, starred review

"The pastel-toned illustrations effectively convey Feder's youth and the intensity of her emotions while emphasizing the ultimate message of survival and resilience in the face of life-changing grief. Cathartic and uplifting." —Kirkus Reviews

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