Over the Influence

Why Social Media is Toxic for Women and Girls - And How We Can Take it Back

A feminist rallying cry for women to recognize and reject the ways social media is being weaponized against us — and instead wield it to empower ourselves.

Actionable solutions for women, parents, and educators to fight online disinformation, sexism, and misogyny—so we can create healthier digital spaces for girls and teens.


In Over the Influence, communication professor and CNN Opinion contributor Kara Alaimo reveals how social media is affecting every aspect of the lives of women and girls—from our relationships and our parenting to our physical and mental well-being. Over the Influence is a book about what it means to live in the world social media has wrought—whether you’re constantly connected or have deleted your accounts forever. Alaimo explains:

  • Why you’re likely to get fewer followers if you’re a woman.
  • How fake news is crafted to prey on women’s vulnerabilities. 
  • Why so much of the content we find in our feeds is specifically designed to hold us back.
  • How social media has made the offline world an uglier place for women.

But we can change this. Alaimo offers up brilliant advice for how to get over the influence, including:

  • How to handle our daughters’ use of social media
  • Tips for using dating apps to find the partners we’re looking for
  • How we can use social networks to bolster our careers 
  • Ways to protect ourselves from sextortionists, catfishers, and trolls. 
  • What we need to demand from lawmakers and tech companies.

Over the Influence calls on women to recognize and call out the subtle (and not-so-subtle) sexism and misogyny we find online, reject misinformation that is targeted to us because of our gender, and use our platforms to empower ourselves and other women.
Kara Alaimo, Ph.D. is a communication professor at Fairleigh Dickinson University. She writes frequently for CNN Opinion about the social impact of social media and issues affecting women. A former communicator at the United Nations and in the Obama administration, she lives in New Jersey with her family. For more information, visit www.karaalaimo.com and follow her @karaalaimo.
Author’s Note
Introduction
Chapter 1: Girl Meets Instagram
Chapter 2: The Face in the Filter
Chapter 3: Social Media and Women’s “Perpetual State of Wrongness”
Chapter 4: Plenty of Catfish
Chapter 5: Sex Crimes and Murder in the Time of Social Media
Chapter 6: Digital Housewives
Chapter 7: Misinformation for Mommies
Chapter 8: How Anti-Vaxxers Target Women
Chapter 9: The Flounce
Chapter 10: Meta Misogyny
Chapter 11: The #Feminist Fallacy
Appendix: How to Be Savvy On Social Media
Resources
Notes/References
Acknowledgments
Index
Praise for Over the Influence:
“An impassioned denunciation of the damage being done online to women and girls.”
Publishers Weekly

“Extensive research and input from experts provide a thought-provoking journey through just about every aspect of the social media landscape.”
Booklist Reviews

“Exceptionally well written, organized and presented.”
Midwest Book Review

“A powerful and timely exploration of the pervasive toxicity of social media, offering important insights into its impact on relationships, well-being, and body image . . . A rallying cry to empower and guide women towards reclaiming the Internet and advocating for a dramatic and overdue change in the digital landscape.”
—Rana Awdish, MD, bestselling author of In Shock, My Journey from Death to Recovery and the Redemptive Power of Hope

“A clarion call for thoughtfulness and action on a vital issue facing girls and women . . . A captivating must-read for anyone who cares about misogyny, the internet, and the confluence between them. It is also indispensable, impeccably researched, and eye-opening reading for any parent navigating social media with their children.”
—Kate Manne, author of Entitled and Down Girl

“A searing indictment of the capitalist, racist, and misogynistic overtones of social media, [Over the Influence] calls on us to demand more from these platforms and to create new norms for ourselves and generations to come in relation to building and sustaining community and creating change—online and off.”
—Senti Sojwal, cofounder of the Asian American Feminist Collective

“Social media promised us a better, more connected, more empathetic world. Instead, it’s brought insecurity, humiliation, sexualization, and sometimes even violence—at least to women and girls. That’s the case Kara Alaimo makes in her important book, which everyone who has ever downloaded a social media app, or who cares about the future of society, should read.”
—Jill Filipovic, author of The H-Spot

“The ultimate guide for any mom seeking to help her daughters—and herself—more safely navigate an internet that is stacked against women.”
—Nina Jankowicz, author of How to Be a Woman Online

“Together, armed with Kara’s powerful reporting, we can reverse today’s digital backlash against women and create a narrative that serves us.”
—Donna Jackson Nakazawa, author of Girls on the Brink

“A protest against today’s online reality and a call to arms for what tomorrow’s ought to look like.”
—Carrie Goldberg, Leading victims’ rights attorney and author of Nobody’s Victim

“An essential guide for anyone who uses the internet and cares about other people—so, everyone!”
—Renee Bracey Sherman, founder and co-executive director of We Testify

About

A feminist rallying cry for women to recognize and reject the ways social media is being weaponized against us — and instead wield it to empower ourselves.

Actionable solutions for women, parents, and educators to fight online disinformation, sexism, and misogyny—so we can create healthier digital spaces for girls and teens.


In Over the Influence, communication professor and CNN Opinion contributor Kara Alaimo reveals how social media is affecting every aspect of the lives of women and girls—from our relationships and our parenting to our physical and mental well-being. Over the Influence is a book about what it means to live in the world social media has wrought—whether you’re constantly connected or have deleted your accounts forever. Alaimo explains:

  • Why you’re likely to get fewer followers if you’re a woman.
  • How fake news is crafted to prey on women’s vulnerabilities. 
  • Why so much of the content we find in our feeds is specifically designed to hold us back.
  • How social media has made the offline world an uglier place for women.

But we can change this. Alaimo offers up brilliant advice for how to get over the influence, including:

  • How to handle our daughters’ use of social media
  • Tips for using dating apps to find the partners we’re looking for
  • How we can use social networks to bolster our careers 
  • Ways to protect ourselves from sextortionists, catfishers, and trolls. 
  • What we need to demand from lawmakers and tech companies.

Over the Influence calls on women to recognize and call out the subtle (and not-so-subtle) sexism and misogyny we find online, reject misinformation that is targeted to us because of our gender, and use our platforms to empower ourselves and other women.

Author

Kara Alaimo, Ph.D. is a communication professor at Fairleigh Dickinson University. She writes frequently for CNN Opinion about the social impact of social media and issues affecting women. A former communicator at the United Nations and in the Obama administration, she lives in New Jersey with her family. For more information, visit www.karaalaimo.com and follow her @karaalaimo.

Table of Contents

Author’s Note
Introduction
Chapter 1: Girl Meets Instagram
Chapter 2: The Face in the Filter
Chapter 3: Social Media and Women’s “Perpetual State of Wrongness”
Chapter 4: Plenty of Catfish
Chapter 5: Sex Crimes and Murder in the Time of Social Media
Chapter 6: Digital Housewives
Chapter 7: Misinformation for Mommies
Chapter 8: How Anti-Vaxxers Target Women
Chapter 9: The Flounce
Chapter 10: Meta Misogyny
Chapter 11: The #Feminist Fallacy
Appendix: How to Be Savvy On Social Media
Resources
Notes/References
Acknowledgments
Index

Praise

Praise for Over the Influence:
“An impassioned denunciation of the damage being done online to women and girls.”
Publishers Weekly

“Extensive research and input from experts provide a thought-provoking journey through just about every aspect of the social media landscape.”
Booklist Reviews

“Exceptionally well written, organized and presented.”
Midwest Book Review

“A powerful and timely exploration of the pervasive toxicity of social media, offering important insights into its impact on relationships, well-being, and body image . . . A rallying cry to empower and guide women towards reclaiming the Internet and advocating for a dramatic and overdue change in the digital landscape.”
—Rana Awdish, MD, bestselling author of In Shock, My Journey from Death to Recovery and the Redemptive Power of Hope

“A clarion call for thoughtfulness and action on a vital issue facing girls and women . . . A captivating must-read for anyone who cares about misogyny, the internet, and the confluence between them. It is also indispensable, impeccably researched, and eye-opening reading for any parent navigating social media with their children.”
—Kate Manne, author of Entitled and Down Girl

“A searing indictment of the capitalist, racist, and misogynistic overtones of social media, [Over the Influence] calls on us to demand more from these platforms and to create new norms for ourselves and generations to come in relation to building and sustaining community and creating change—online and off.”
—Senti Sojwal, cofounder of the Asian American Feminist Collective

“Social media promised us a better, more connected, more empathetic world. Instead, it’s brought insecurity, humiliation, sexualization, and sometimes even violence—at least to women and girls. That’s the case Kara Alaimo makes in her important book, which everyone who has ever downloaded a social media app, or who cares about the future of society, should read.”
—Jill Filipovic, author of The H-Spot

“The ultimate guide for any mom seeking to help her daughters—and herself—more safely navigate an internet that is stacked against women.”
—Nina Jankowicz, author of How to Be a Woman Online

“Together, armed with Kara’s powerful reporting, we can reverse today’s digital backlash against women and create a narrative that serves us.”
—Donna Jackson Nakazawa, author of Girls on the Brink

“A protest against today’s online reality and a call to arms for what tomorrow’s ought to look like.”
—Carrie Goldberg, Leading victims’ rights attorney and author of Nobody’s Victim

“An essential guide for anyone who uses the internet and cares about other people—so, everyone!”
—Renee Bracey Sherman, founder and co-executive director of We Testify

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