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God Help the Child

Part of Vintage International

Author Toni Morrison
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Best Seller
Paperback
$16.00 US
Knopf | Vintage
5.17"W x 7.98"H x 0.54"D  
On sale Jan 26, 2016 | 192 Pages | 978-0-307-74092-2
| Grades 9-12 + AP/IB
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  • English Language Arts > Genre: Fiction > Magical Realism
  • English Language Arts > Genre: Fiction > People & Places by Group > African American
  • English Language Arts > Genre: Nonfiction > Family > More Family…
  • About
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  • Excerpt
  • Praise
At the center: a young woman who calls herself Bride, whose stunning blue-black skin is only one element of her beauty, her boldness and confidence, her success in life, but which caused her light-skinned mother to deny her even the simplest forms of love. There is Booker, the man Bride loves, and loses to anger. Rain, the mysterious white child with whom she crosses paths. And finally, Bride’s mother herself, Sweetness, who takes a lifetime to come to understand that “what you do to children matters. And they might never forget.”

A fiery and provocative novel, God Help the Child—the first book by Toni Morrison to be set in our current moment—weaves a tale about the way the sufferings of childhood can shape, and misshape, the life of the adult.

“Powerful. . . . A tale that is as forceful as it is affecting, as fierce as it is resonant.” —Michiko Kakutani, The New York Times

“A tragicomic jazz opera played out in four parts. . . . Morrison makes art from the cadences of human heartbreak.” —The Atlantic

“Beautiful. . . . God Save the Child is superb, its story gliding along the tracks of Morrison’s utterly assured prose.” —USA Today

“Unflinching, gorgeously written.” —San Francisco Chronicle

“Magnificent. . . . Morrison remains an incredibly powerful writer who commands attention no matter the story she is telling.” —The Guardian (London)

“Sly, savage, honest, and elegant. . . . Once again, Morrison thrillingly brings the storytelling moxie and mojo that make her, arguably, our greatest living novelist.” —Elle 

“Exquisite. . . . Morrison has a Shakespearean sense of tragedy, and that gift imbues God Help the Child.” —Newsday

“The Nobel Prize winner continues to create beauty from the anger and defining wounds of her characters. . . . Bears a lifetime’s worth of anger and sorrow, distilled to their essences and fiercely hung onto, tooth and claw.” —The Christian Science Monitor 

“Glorious and incendiary.” —The Philadelphia Inquirer 

“There is a new urgency to Morrison’s work, a desire to tell the story itself, without embellishment or ornamentation. . . . Morrison [is] the undisputed interpreter of the American black experience.” —The Boston Globe

“Morrison gives us an unflinching look at the wounds that adults can inflict on children with life-altering consequences. . . . Few authors can deliver exquisitely written prose as Morrison.” —Essence.com 

“Haunting. . . . Moving. . . . Fearless. . . . God Help the Child yet again proves that Toni Morrison is an icon.” —Bustle 

“Both timely and timeless. . . . A pleasure. . . . As she shows with such brevity and eloquence in God Help the Child, having and healing don’t necessarily happen at the same time.” —The Seattle Times

“A book to be read twice at a minimum—the first time for the story, and the second time to savor the language, the gems of phrasing and the uncomfortable revelations about the human capacity both to love and destroy.” —Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

“Breathtaking prose. . . . A new Morrison book is always cause for celebration.” —The Dallas Morning News 

“We have stepped into, once again, another of Morrison’s fertile landscapes. . . . It is a blessing that she still speaks with such salvific force and poetic grace.” —The Plain Dealer

“Heartbreaking. . . . [Morrison] continues to dazzle. . . . Morrison—like Bride—is still reinventing herself as a writer. And just getting better.” —St. Louis Post-Dispatch
TONI MORRISON is the author of eleven novels and three essay collections. She received the National Book Critics Circle Award, the Pulitzer Prize, and in 1993 the Nobel Prize in Literature. She died in 2019. View titles by Toni Morrison
Sweetness



I

t’s not my fault. So you can’t blame me. I didn’t do it and have no idea how it happened. It didn’t take more than an hour after they pulled her out from between my legs to realize something was wrong. Really wrong. She was so black she scared me. Midnight black, Sudanese black. I’m light-skinned, with good hair, what we call high yellow, and so is Lula Ann’s father. Ain’t nobody in my family anywhere near that color. Tar is the closest I can think of yet her hair don’t go with the skin. It’s different—straight but curly like those naked tribes in Australia. You might think she’s a throwback, but throwback to what? You should’ve seen my grandmother; she passed for white and never said another word to any one of her children. Any letter she got from my mother or my aunts she sent right back, unopened. Finally they got the message of no message and let her be. Almost all mulatto types and quadroons did that back in the day—if they had the right kind of hair, that is. Can you imagine how many white folks have Negro blood running and hiding in their veins? Guess. Twenty percent, I heard. My own mother, Lula Mae, could have passed easy, but she chose not to. She told me the price she paid for that decision. When she and my father went to the courthouse to get married there were two Bibles and they had to put their hands on the one reserved for Negroes. The other one was for white people’s hands. The Bible! Can you beat it? My mother was housekeeper for a rich white couple. They ate every meal she cooked and insisted she scrub their backs while they sat in the tub and God knows what other intimate things they made her do, but no touching of the same Bible.



Some of you probably think it’s a bad thing to group ourselves according to skin color—the lighter, the better—in social clubs, neighborhoods, churches, sororities, even colored schools. But how else can we hold on to a little dignity? How else can you avoid being spit on in a drugstore, shoving elbows at the bus stop, walking in the gutter to let whites have the whole sidewalk, charged a nickel at the grocer’s for a paper bag that’s free to white shoppers? Let alone all the name-calling. I heard about all of that and much, much more. But because of my mother’s skin color, she wasn’t stopped from trying on hats in the department stores or using their ladies’ room. And my father could try on shoes in the front part of the shoestore, not in a back room. Neither one would let themselves drink from a “colored only” fountain even if they were dying of thirst.



I hate to say it, but from the very beginning in the maternity ward the baby, Lula Ann, embarrassed me. Her birth skin was pale like all babies’, even African ones, but it changed fast. I thought I was going crazy when she turned blue-black right before my eyes. I know I went crazy for a minute because once—just for a few seconds—I held a blanket over her face and pressed. But I couldn’t do that, no matter how much I wished she hadn’t been born with that terrible color. I even thought of giving her away to an orphanage someplace. And I was scared to be one of those mothers who put their babies on church steps. Recently I heard about a couple in Germany, white as snow, who had a dark-skinned baby nobody could explain. Twins, I believe—one white, one colored. But I don’t know if it’s true. All I know is that for me, nursing her was like having a pickaninny sucking my teat. I went to bottle-feeding soon as I got home.



My husband, Louis, is a porter and when he got back off the rails he looked at me like I really was crazy and looked at her like she was from the planet Jupiter. He wasn’t a cussing man so when he said, “Goddamn! What the hell is this?” I knew we were in trouble. That’s what did it—what caused the fights between me and him. It broke our marriage to pieces. We had three good years together but when she was born he blamed me and treated Lula Ann like she was a stranger—more than that, an enemy.



He never touched her. I never did convince him that I ain’t never, ever fooled around with another man. He was dead sure I was lying. We argued and argued till I told him her blackness must be from his own family—not mine. That’s when it got worse, so bad he just up and left and I had to look for another, cheaper place to live. I knew enough not to take her with me when I applied to landlords so I left her with a teenage cousin to babysit. I did the best I could and didn’t take her outside much anyway because when I pushed her in the baby carriage, friends or strangers would lean down and peek in to say something nice and then give a start or jump back before frowning. That hurt. I could have been the babysitter if our skin colors were reversed. It was hard enough just being a colored woman—even a high-yellow one—trying to rent in a decent part of the city. Back in the nineties when Lula Ann was born, the law was against discriminating in who you could rent to, but not many landlords paid attention to it. They made up reasons to keep you out. But I got lucky with Mr. Leigh. I know he upped the rent seven dollars from what he advertised, and he has a fit if you a minute late with the money.



I told her to call me “Sweetness” instead of “Mother” or “Mama.” It was safer. Being that black and having what I think are too-thick lips calling me “Mama” would confuse people. Besides, she has funny-colored eyes, crow-black with a blue tint, something witchy about them too.



So it was just us two for a long while and I don’t have to tell you how hard it is being an abandoned wife. I guess Louis felt a little bit bad after leaving us like that because a few months later on he found out where I moved to and started sending me money once a month, though I never asked him to and didn’t go to court to get it. His fifty-dollar money orders and my night job at the hospital got me and Lula Ann off welfare. Which was a good thing. I wish they would stop calling it welfare and go back to the word they used when my mother was a girl. Then it was called “Relief.” Sounds much better, like it’s just a short-term breather while you get yourself together. Besides, those welfare clerks are mean as spit. When finally I got work and didn’t need them anymore, I was making more money than they ever did. I guess meanness filled out their skimpy paychecks, which is why they treated us like beggars. More so when they looked at Lula Ann and back at me—like I was cheating or something. Things got better but I still had to be careful. Very careful in how I raised her. I had to be strict, very strict. Lula Ann needed to learn how to behave, how to keep her head down and not to make trouble. I don’t care how many times she changes her name. Her color is a cross she will always carry. But it’s not my fault. It’s not my fault. It’s not my fault. It’s not.



Bride



I

’m scared. Something bad is happening to me. I feel like I’m melting away. I can’t explain it to you but I do know when it started. It began after he said, “You not the woman I want.”



“Neither am I.”



I still don’t know why I said that. It just popped out of my mouth. But when he heard my sassy answer he shot me a hateful look before putting on his jeans. Then he grabbed his boots and T-shirt and when I heard the door slam I wondered for a split second if he was not just ending our silly argument, but ending us, our relationship. Couldn’t be. Any minute I would hear the key turn, the front door click open and close. But I didn’t hear anything the whole night. Nothing at all. What? I’m not exciting enough? Or pretty enough? I can’t have thoughts of my own? Do things he doesn’t approve of? By morning soon as I woke up I was furious. Glad he was gone because clearly he was just using me since I had money and a crotch. I was so angry, if you had seen me you would have thought I had spent those six months with him in a holding cell without arraignment or a lawyer, and suddenly the judge called the whole thing off—dismissed the case or refused to hear it at all. Anyway I refused to whine, wail or accuse. He said one thing; I agreed. Fuck him. Besides, our affair wasn’t all that spectacular—not even the mildly dangerous sex I used to let myself enjoy. Well, anyway it was nothing like those double-page spreads in fashion magazines, you know, couples standing half naked in surf, looking so fierce and downright mean, their sexuality like lightning and the sky going dark to show off the shine of their skin. I love those ads. But our affair didn’t even measure up to any old R-&-B song—some tune with a beat arranged to generate fever. It wasn’t even the sugary lyrics of a thirties blues song: “Baby, baby, why you treat me so? I do anything you say, go anywhere you want me to go.” Why I kept comparing us to magazine spreads and music I can’t say, but it tickled me to settle on “I Wanna Dance with Somebody.”



It was raining the next day. Bullet taps on the windows followed by crystal lines of water. I avoided the temptation to glance through the panes at the sidewalk beneath my condo. Besides, I knew what was out there—nasty-looking palm trees lining the road, benches in that tacky little park, few if any pedestrians, a sliver of sea far beyond. I fought giving in to any wish that he was coming back. When a tiny ripple of missing him surfaced, I beat it back. Around noon I opened a bottle of Pinot Grigio and sank into the sofa, its suede and silk cushions as comfy as any arms. Almost. Because I have to admit he is one beautiful man, flawless even, except for a tiny scar on his upper lip and an ugly one on his shoulder—an orange-red blob with a tail. Otherwise, head to toe, he is one gorgeous man. I’m not so bad myself, so imagine how we looked as a couple. After a glass or two of the wine I was a little buzzed, and decided to call my friend Brooklyn, tell her all about it. How he hit me harder than a fist with six words: You not the woman I want. How they rattled me so I agreed with them. So stupid. But then I changed my mind about calling her. You know how it is. Nothing new. Just he walked out and I don’t know why. Besides, too much was happening at the office for me to bother my best friend and colleague with gossip about another breakup. Especially now. I’m regional manager now and that’s like being a captain so I have to maintain the right relationship with the crew. Our company, Sylvia, Inc., is a small cosmetics business, but it’s beginning to blossom and make waves, finally, and shed its frumpy past. It used to be Sylph Corsets for Discriminating Women back in the forties, but changed its name and ownership to Sylvia Apparel, then to Sylvia, Inc., before going flat-out hip with six cool cosmetics lines, one of which is mine. I named it YOU, GIRL: Cosmetics for Your Personal Millennium. It’s for girls and women of all complexions from ebony to lemonade to milk. And it’s mine, all mine—the idea, the brand, the campaign.



Wiggling my toes under the silk cushion I couldn’t help smiling at the lipstick smile on my wineglass, thinking, “How about that, Lula Ann? Did you ever believe you would grow up to be this hot, or this successful?” Maybe she was the woman he wanted. But Lula Ann Bridewell is no longer available and she was never a woman. Lula Ann was a sixteen-year-old-me who dropped that dumb countryfied name as soon as I left high school. I was Ann Bride for two years until I interviewed for a sales job at Sylvia, Inc., and, on a hunch, shortened my name to Bride, with nothing anybody needs to say before or after that one memorable syllable. Customers and reps like it, but he ignored it. He called me “baby” most of the time. “Hey, baby”; “Come on, baby.” And sometimes “You my girl,” accent on the my. The only time he said “woman” was the day he split.



The more white wine the more I thought good riddance. No more dallying with a mystery man with no visible means of support. An ex-felon if ever there was one, though he laughed when I teased him about how he spent his time when I was at the office: Idle? Roaming? Or meeting someone? He said his Saturday afternoon trips downtown were not reports to a probation officer or drug rehab counselor. Yet he never told me what they were. I told him every single thing about myself; he confided nothing, so I just made stuff up with TV plots: he was an informant with a new identity, a disbarred lawyer. Whatever. I didn’t really care.



Actually the timing of his leaving was perfect for me. With him gone out of my life and out of my apartment I could concentrate on the launch of YOU, GIRL and, equally important, keep a promise I’d made to myself long before I met him—we fought about it the night he said “You not the woman. . . .” According to prisoninfo.org/paroleboard/calendar, it was time. I’d been planning this trip for a year, choosing carefully what a parolee would need: I saved up five thousand dollars in cash over the years, and bought a three-thousand-dollar Continental Airlines gift certificate. I put a promotional box of YOU, GIRL into a brand-new Louis Vuitton shopping bag, all of which could take her anywhere. Comfort her, anyway; help her forget and take the edge off bad luck, hopelessness and boredom. Well, maybe not boredom, no prison is a convent. He didn’t understand why I was so set on going and the night when we quarreled about my promise, he ran off. I guess I threatened his ego by doing some Good Samaritan thing not directed at him. Selfish bastard. I paid the rent, not him, and the maid too. When we went to clubs and concerts we rode in my beautiful Jaguar or in cars I hired. I bought him beautiful shirts—although he never wore them—and did all the shopping. Besides, a promise is a promise, especially if it’s to oneself.



It was when I got dressed for the drive I noticed the first peculiar thing. Every bit of my pubic hair was gone. Not gone as in shaved or waxed, but gone as in erased, as in never having been there in the first place. It scared me, so I threaded through the hair on my head to see if it was shedding, but it was as thick and slippery as it had always been. Allergy? Skin disease, maybe? It worried me but there was no time to do more than be anxious and plan to see a dermatologist. I had to be on my way to make it on time.



I suppose other people might like the scenery bordering this highway but it’s so thick with lanes, exits, parallel roads, overpasses, cautionary signals and signs it’s like being forced to read a newspaper while driving. Annoying. Along with amber alerts, silver and gold ones were springing up. I stayed in the right lane and slowed down because from past drives out this way I knew the Norristown exit was easy to miss and the prison had no sign of its existence in the world for a mile beyond the exit ramp. I guess they didn’t want tourists to know that some of the reclaimed desert California is famous for holds evil women. Decagon Women’s Correctional Center, right outside Norristown, owned by a private company, is worshipped by the locals for the work it provides: serving visitors, guards, clerical staff, cafeteria workers, health care folks and most of all construction laborers repairing the road and fences and adding wing after wing to house the increasing flood of violent, sinful women committing bloody female crimes. Lucky for the state, crime does pay.
Copyright © 2016 by Toni Morrison. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
One of the Best Books of the Year: San Francisco Chronicle, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Kansas City Star

“Powerful. . . . A tale that is as forceful as it is affecting, as fierce as it is resonant.” —Michiko Kakutani, The New York Times

“A tragicomic jazz opera played out in four parts. . . . Morrison makes art from the cadences of human heartbreak.” —The Atlantic

“Beautiful. . . . God Help the Child is superb, its story gliding along the tracks of Morrison’s utterly assured prose.” —USA Today

“Unflinching, gorgeously written.” —San Francisco Chronicle

“Magnificent. . . . Morrison remains an incredibly powerful writer who commands attention no matter the story she is telling.” —The Guardian (London)

“Sly, savage, honest, and elegant. . . . Once again, Morrison thrillingly brings the storytelling moxie and mojo that make her, arguably, our greatest living novelist.” —Elle

“Exquisite. . . . Morrison has a Shakespearean sense of tragedy, and that gift imbues God Help the Child.” —Newsday

“The Nobel Prize winner continues to create beauty from the anger and defining wounds of her characters. . . . Bears a lifetime’s worth of anger and sorrow, distilled to their essences and fiercely hung onto, tooth and claw.” —The Christian Science Monitor

“Glorious and incendiary.” —The Philadelphia Inquirer

“There is a new urgency to Morrison’s work, a desire to tell the story itself, without embellishment or ornamentation. . . . Morrison [is] the undisputed interpreter of the American black experience.” —The Boston Globe

“Morrison gives us an unflinching look at the wounds that adults can inflict on children with life-altering consequences. . . . Few authors can deliver exquisitely written prose as Morrison.” —Essence.com

“Haunting. . . . Moving. . . . Fearless. . . . God Help the Child yet again proves that Toni Morrison is an icon.” —Bustle

“Both timely and timeless. . . . A pleasure. . . . As she shows with such brevity and eloquence in God Help the Child, having and healing don’t necessarily happen at the same time.” —The Seattle Times

“A book to be read twice at a minimum—the first time for the story, and the second time to savor the language, the gems of phrasing and the uncomfortable revelations about the human capacity both to love and destroy.” —Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

“Breathtaking prose. . . . A new Morrison book is always cause for celebration.” —The Dallas Morning News

“We have stepped into, once again, another of Morrison’s fertile landscapes. . . . It is a blessing that she still speaks with such salvific force and poetic grace.” —The Plain Dealer

“Heartbreaking. . . . [Morrison] continues to dazzle. . . . Morrison—like Bride—is still reinventing herself as a writer. And just getting better.” —St. Louis Post-Dispatch

About

At the center: a young woman who calls herself Bride, whose stunning blue-black skin is only one element of her beauty, her boldness and confidence, her success in life, but which caused her light-skinned mother to deny her even the simplest forms of love. There is Booker, the man Bride loves, and loses to anger. Rain, the mysterious white child with whom she crosses paths. And finally, Bride’s mother herself, Sweetness, who takes a lifetime to come to understand that “what you do to children matters. And they might never forget.”

A fiery and provocative novel, God Help the Child—the first book by Toni Morrison to be set in our current moment—weaves a tale about the way the sufferings of childhood can shape, and misshape, the life of the adult.

“Powerful. . . . A tale that is as forceful as it is affecting, as fierce as it is resonant.” —Michiko Kakutani, The New York Times

“A tragicomic jazz opera played out in four parts. . . . Morrison makes art from the cadences of human heartbreak.” —The Atlantic

“Beautiful. . . . God Save the Child is superb, its story gliding along the tracks of Morrison’s utterly assured prose.” —USA Today

“Unflinching, gorgeously written.” —San Francisco Chronicle

“Magnificent. . . . Morrison remains an incredibly powerful writer who commands attention no matter the story she is telling.” —The Guardian (London)

“Sly, savage, honest, and elegant. . . . Once again, Morrison thrillingly brings the storytelling moxie and mojo that make her, arguably, our greatest living novelist.” —Elle 

“Exquisite. . . . Morrison has a Shakespearean sense of tragedy, and that gift imbues God Help the Child.” —Newsday

“The Nobel Prize winner continues to create beauty from the anger and defining wounds of her characters. . . . Bears a lifetime’s worth of anger and sorrow, distilled to their essences and fiercely hung onto, tooth and claw.” —The Christian Science Monitor 

“Glorious and incendiary.” —The Philadelphia Inquirer 

“There is a new urgency to Morrison’s work, a desire to tell the story itself, without embellishment or ornamentation. . . . Morrison [is] the undisputed interpreter of the American black experience.” —The Boston Globe

“Morrison gives us an unflinching look at the wounds that adults can inflict on children with life-altering consequences. . . . Few authors can deliver exquisitely written prose as Morrison.” —Essence.com 

“Haunting. . . . Moving. . . . Fearless. . . . God Help the Child yet again proves that Toni Morrison is an icon.” —Bustle 

“Both timely and timeless. . . . A pleasure. . . . As she shows with such brevity and eloquence in God Help the Child, having and healing don’t necessarily happen at the same time.” —The Seattle Times

“A book to be read twice at a minimum—the first time for the story, and the second time to savor the language, the gems of phrasing and the uncomfortable revelations about the human capacity both to love and destroy.” —Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

“Breathtaking prose. . . . A new Morrison book is always cause for celebration.” —The Dallas Morning News 

“We have stepped into, once again, another of Morrison’s fertile landscapes. . . . It is a blessing that she still speaks with such salvific force and poetic grace.” —The Plain Dealer

“Heartbreaking. . . . [Morrison] continues to dazzle. . . . Morrison—like Bride—is still reinventing herself as a writer. And just getting better.” —St. Louis Post-Dispatch

Author

TONI MORRISON is the author of eleven novels and three essay collections. She received the National Book Critics Circle Award, the Pulitzer Prize, and in 1993 the Nobel Prize in Literature. She died in 2019. View titles by Toni Morrison

Excerpt

Sweetness



I

t’s not my fault. So you can’t blame me. I didn’t do it and have no idea how it happened. It didn’t take more than an hour after they pulled her out from between my legs to realize something was wrong. Really wrong. She was so black she scared me. Midnight black, Sudanese black. I’m light-skinned, with good hair, what we call high yellow, and so is Lula Ann’s father. Ain’t nobody in my family anywhere near that color. Tar is the closest I can think of yet her hair don’t go with the skin. It’s different—straight but curly like those naked tribes in Australia. You might think she’s a throwback, but throwback to what? You should’ve seen my grandmother; she passed for white and never said another word to any one of her children. Any letter she got from my mother or my aunts she sent right back, unopened. Finally they got the message of no message and let her be. Almost all mulatto types and quadroons did that back in the day—if they had the right kind of hair, that is. Can you imagine how many white folks have Negro blood running and hiding in their veins? Guess. Twenty percent, I heard. My own mother, Lula Mae, could have passed easy, but she chose not to. She told me the price she paid for that decision. When she and my father went to the courthouse to get married there were two Bibles and they had to put their hands on the one reserved for Negroes. The other one was for white people’s hands. The Bible! Can you beat it? My mother was housekeeper for a rich white couple. They ate every meal she cooked and insisted she scrub their backs while they sat in the tub and God knows what other intimate things they made her do, but no touching of the same Bible.



Some of you probably think it’s a bad thing to group ourselves according to skin color—the lighter, the better—in social clubs, neighborhoods, churches, sororities, even colored schools. But how else can we hold on to a little dignity? How else can you avoid being spit on in a drugstore, shoving elbows at the bus stop, walking in the gutter to let whites have the whole sidewalk, charged a nickel at the grocer’s for a paper bag that’s free to white shoppers? Let alone all the name-calling. I heard about all of that and much, much more. But because of my mother’s skin color, she wasn’t stopped from trying on hats in the department stores or using their ladies’ room. And my father could try on shoes in the front part of the shoestore, not in a back room. Neither one would let themselves drink from a “colored only” fountain even if they were dying of thirst.



I hate to say it, but from the very beginning in the maternity ward the baby, Lula Ann, embarrassed me. Her birth skin was pale like all babies’, even African ones, but it changed fast. I thought I was going crazy when she turned blue-black right before my eyes. I know I went crazy for a minute because once—just for a few seconds—I held a blanket over her face and pressed. But I couldn’t do that, no matter how much I wished she hadn’t been born with that terrible color. I even thought of giving her away to an orphanage someplace. And I was scared to be one of those mothers who put their babies on church steps. Recently I heard about a couple in Germany, white as snow, who had a dark-skinned baby nobody could explain. Twins, I believe—one white, one colored. But I don’t know if it’s true. All I know is that for me, nursing her was like having a pickaninny sucking my teat. I went to bottle-feeding soon as I got home.



My husband, Louis, is a porter and when he got back off the rails he looked at me like I really was crazy and looked at her like she was from the planet Jupiter. He wasn’t a cussing man so when he said, “Goddamn! What the hell is this?” I knew we were in trouble. That’s what did it—what caused the fights between me and him. It broke our marriage to pieces. We had three good years together but when she was born he blamed me and treated Lula Ann like she was a stranger—more than that, an enemy.



He never touched her. I never did convince him that I ain’t never, ever fooled around with another man. He was dead sure I was lying. We argued and argued till I told him her blackness must be from his own family—not mine. That’s when it got worse, so bad he just up and left and I had to look for another, cheaper place to live. I knew enough not to take her with me when I applied to landlords so I left her with a teenage cousin to babysit. I did the best I could and didn’t take her outside much anyway because when I pushed her in the baby carriage, friends or strangers would lean down and peek in to say something nice and then give a start or jump back before frowning. That hurt. I could have been the babysitter if our skin colors were reversed. It was hard enough just being a colored woman—even a high-yellow one—trying to rent in a decent part of the city. Back in the nineties when Lula Ann was born, the law was against discriminating in who you could rent to, but not many landlords paid attention to it. They made up reasons to keep you out. But I got lucky with Mr. Leigh. I know he upped the rent seven dollars from what he advertised, and he has a fit if you a minute late with the money.



I told her to call me “Sweetness” instead of “Mother” or “Mama.” It was safer. Being that black and having what I think are too-thick lips calling me “Mama” would confuse people. Besides, she has funny-colored eyes, crow-black with a blue tint, something witchy about them too.



So it was just us two for a long while and I don’t have to tell you how hard it is being an abandoned wife. I guess Louis felt a little bit bad after leaving us like that because a few months later on he found out where I moved to and started sending me money once a month, though I never asked him to and didn’t go to court to get it. His fifty-dollar money orders and my night job at the hospital got me and Lula Ann off welfare. Which was a good thing. I wish they would stop calling it welfare and go back to the word they used when my mother was a girl. Then it was called “Relief.” Sounds much better, like it’s just a short-term breather while you get yourself together. Besides, those welfare clerks are mean as spit. When finally I got work and didn’t need them anymore, I was making more money than they ever did. I guess meanness filled out their skimpy paychecks, which is why they treated us like beggars. More so when they looked at Lula Ann and back at me—like I was cheating or something. Things got better but I still had to be careful. Very careful in how I raised her. I had to be strict, very strict. Lula Ann needed to learn how to behave, how to keep her head down and not to make trouble. I don’t care how many times she changes her name. Her color is a cross she will always carry. But it’s not my fault. It’s not my fault. It’s not my fault. It’s not.



Bride



I

’m scared. Something bad is happening to me. I feel like I’m melting away. I can’t explain it to you but I do know when it started. It began after he said, “You not the woman I want.”



“Neither am I.”



I still don’t know why I said that. It just popped out of my mouth. But when he heard my sassy answer he shot me a hateful look before putting on his jeans. Then he grabbed his boots and T-shirt and when I heard the door slam I wondered for a split second if he was not just ending our silly argument, but ending us, our relationship. Couldn’t be. Any minute I would hear the key turn, the front door click open and close. But I didn’t hear anything the whole night. Nothing at all. What? I’m not exciting enough? Or pretty enough? I can’t have thoughts of my own? Do things he doesn’t approve of? By morning soon as I woke up I was furious. Glad he was gone because clearly he was just using me since I had money and a crotch. I was so angry, if you had seen me you would have thought I had spent those six months with him in a holding cell without arraignment or a lawyer, and suddenly the judge called the whole thing off—dismissed the case or refused to hear it at all. Anyway I refused to whine, wail or accuse. He said one thing; I agreed. Fuck him. Besides, our affair wasn’t all that spectacular—not even the mildly dangerous sex I used to let myself enjoy. Well, anyway it was nothing like those double-page spreads in fashion magazines, you know, couples standing half naked in surf, looking so fierce and downright mean, their sexuality like lightning and the sky going dark to show off the shine of their skin. I love those ads. But our affair didn’t even measure up to any old R-&-B song—some tune with a beat arranged to generate fever. It wasn’t even the sugary lyrics of a thirties blues song: “Baby, baby, why you treat me so? I do anything you say, go anywhere you want me to go.” Why I kept comparing us to magazine spreads and music I can’t say, but it tickled me to settle on “I Wanna Dance with Somebody.”



It was raining the next day. Bullet taps on the windows followed by crystal lines of water. I avoided the temptation to glance through the panes at the sidewalk beneath my condo. Besides, I knew what was out there—nasty-looking palm trees lining the road, benches in that tacky little park, few if any pedestrians, a sliver of sea far beyond. I fought giving in to any wish that he was coming back. When a tiny ripple of missing him surfaced, I beat it back. Around noon I opened a bottle of Pinot Grigio and sank into the sofa, its suede and silk cushions as comfy as any arms. Almost. Because I have to admit he is one beautiful man, flawless even, except for a tiny scar on his upper lip and an ugly one on his shoulder—an orange-red blob with a tail. Otherwise, head to toe, he is one gorgeous man. I’m not so bad myself, so imagine how we looked as a couple. After a glass or two of the wine I was a little buzzed, and decided to call my friend Brooklyn, tell her all about it. How he hit me harder than a fist with six words: You not the woman I want. How they rattled me so I agreed with them. So stupid. But then I changed my mind about calling her. You know how it is. Nothing new. Just he walked out and I don’t know why. Besides, too much was happening at the office for me to bother my best friend and colleague with gossip about another breakup. Especially now. I’m regional manager now and that’s like being a captain so I have to maintain the right relationship with the crew. Our company, Sylvia, Inc., is a small cosmetics business, but it’s beginning to blossom and make waves, finally, and shed its frumpy past. It used to be Sylph Corsets for Discriminating Women back in the forties, but changed its name and ownership to Sylvia Apparel, then to Sylvia, Inc., before going flat-out hip with six cool cosmetics lines, one of which is mine. I named it YOU, GIRL: Cosmetics for Your Personal Millennium. It’s for girls and women of all complexions from ebony to lemonade to milk. And it’s mine, all mine—the idea, the brand, the campaign.



Wiggling my toes under the silk cushion I couldn’t help smiling at the lipstick smile on my wineglass, thinking, “How about that, Lula Ann? Did you ever believe you would grow up to be this hot, or this successful?” Maybe she was the woman he wanted. But Lula Ann Bridewell is no longer available and she was never a woman. Lula Ann was a sixteen-year-old-me who dropped that dumb countryfied name as soon as I left high school. I was Ann Bride for two years until I interviewed for a sales job at Sylvia, Inc., and, on a hunch, shortened my name to Bride, with nothing anybody needs to say before or after that one memorable syllable. Customers and reps like it, but he ignored it. He called me “baby” most of the time. “Hey, baby”; “Come on, baby.” And sometimes “You my girl,” accent on the my. The only time he said “woman” was the day he split.



The more white wine the more I thought good riddance. No more dallying with a mystery man with no visible means of support. An ex-felon if ever there was one, though he laughed when I teased him about how he spent his time when I was at the office: Idle? Roaming? Or meeting someone? He said his Saturday afternoon trips downtown were not reports to a probation officer or drug rehab counselor. Yet he never told me what they were. I told him every single thing about myself; he confided nothing, so I just made stuff up with TV plots: he was an informant with a new identity, a disbarred lawyer. Whatever. I didn’t really care.



Actually the timing of his leaving was perfect for me. With him gone out of my life and out of my apartment I could concentrate on the launch of YOU, GIRL and, equally important, keep a promise I’d made to myself long before I met him—we fought about it the night he said “You not the woman. . . .” According to prisoninfo.org/paroleboard/calendar, it was time. I’d been planning this trip for a year, choosing carefully what a parolee would need: I saved up five thousand dollars in cash over the years, and bought a three-thousand-dollar Continental Airlines gift certificate. I put a promotional box of YOU, GIRL into a brand-new Louis Vuitton shopping bag, all of which could take her anywhere. Comfort her, anyway; help her forget and take the edge off bad luck, hopelessness and boredom. Well, maybe not boredom, no prison is a convent. He didn’t understand why I was so set on going and the night when we quarreled about my promise, he ran off. I guess I threatened his ego by doing some Good Samaritan thing not directed at him. Selfish bastard. I paid the rent, not him, and the maid too. When we went to clubs and concerts we rode in my beautiful Jaguar or in cars I hired. I bought him beautiful shirts—although he never wore them—and did all the shopping. Besides, a promise is a promise, especially if it’s to oneself.



It was when I got dressed for the drive I noticed the first peculiar thing. Every bit of my pubic hair was gone. Not gone as in shaved or waxed, but gone as in erased, as in never having been there in the first place. It scared me, so I threaded through the hair on my head to see if it was shedding, but it was as thick and slippery as it had always been. Allergy? Skin disease, maybe? It worried me but there was no time to do more than be anxious and plan to see a dermatologist. I had to be on my way to make it on time.



I suppose other people might like the scenery bordering this highway but it’s so thick with lanes, exits, parallel roads, overpasses, cautionary signals and signs it’s like being forced to read a newspaper while driving. Annoying. Along with amber alerts, silver and gold ones were springing up. I stayed in the right lane and slowed down because from past drives out this way I knew the Norristown exit was easy to miss and the prison had no sign of its existence in the world for a mile beyond the exit ramp. I guess they didn’t want tourists to know that some of the reclaimed desert California is famous for holds evil women. Decagon Women’s Correctional Center, right outside Norristown, owned by a private company, is worshipped by the locals for the work it provides: serving visitors, guards, clerical staff, cafeteria workers, health care folks and most of all construction laborers repairing the road and fences and adding wing after wing to house the increasing flood of violent, sinful women committing bloody female crimes. Lucky for the state, crime does pay.
Copyright © 2016 by Toni Morrison. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

Praise

One of the Best Books of the Year: San Francisco Chronicle, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Kansas City Star

“Powerful. . . . A tale that is as forceful as it is affecting, as fierce as it is resonant.” —Michiko Kakutani, The New York Times

“A tragicomic jazz opera played out in four parts. . . . Morrison makes art from the cadences of human heartbreak.” —The Atlantic

“Beautiful. . . . God Help the Child is superb, its story gliding along the tracks of Morrison’s utterly assured prose.” —USA Today

“Unflinching, gorgeously written.” —San Francisco Chronicle

“Magnificent. . . . Morrison remains an incredibly powerful writer who commands attention no matter the story she is telling.” —The Guardian (London)

“Sly, savage, honest, and elegant. . . . Once again, Morrison thrillingly brings the storytelling moxie and mojo that make her, arguably, our greatest living novelist.” —Elle

“Exquisite. . . . Morrison has a Shakespearean sense of tragedy, and that gift imbues God Help the Child.” —Newsday

“The Nobel Prize winner continues to create beauty from the anger and defining wounds of her characters. . . . Bears a lifetime’s worth of anger and sorrow, distilled to their essences and fiercely hung onto, tooth and claw.” —The Christian Science Monitor

“Glorious and incendiary.” —The Philadelphia Inquirer

“There is a new urgency to Morrison’s work, a desire to tell the story itself, without embellishment or ornamentation. . . . Morrison [is] the undisputed interpreter of the American black experience.” —The Boston Globe

“Morrison gives us an unflinching look at the wounds that adults can inflict on children with life-altering consequences. . . . Few authors can deliver exquisitely written prose as Morrison.” —Essence.com

“Haunting. . . . Moving. . . . Fearless. . . . God Help the Child yet again proves that Toni Morrison is an icon.” —Bustle

“Both timely and timeless. . . . A pleasure. . . . As she shows with such brevity and eloquence in God Help the Child, having and healing don’t necessarily happen at the same time.” —The Seattle Times

“A book to be read twice at a minimum—the first time for the story, and the second time to savor the language, the gems of phrasing and the uncomfortable revelations about the human capacity both to love and destroy.” —Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

“Breathtaking prose. . . . A new Morrison book is always cause for celebration.” —The Dallas Morning News

“We have stepped into, once again, another of Morrison’s fertile landscapes. . . . It is a blessing that she still speaks with such salvific force and poetic grace.” —The Plain Dealer

“Heartbreaking. . . . [Morrison] continues to dazzle. . . . Morrison—like Bride—is still reinventing herself as a writer. And just getting better.” —St. Louis Post-Dispatch

Additional formats

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    Sep 27, 2005
  • Too Brief a Treat
    Too Brief a Treat
    The Letters of Truman Capote
    Truman Capote
    $16.00 US
    Paperback
    Sep 13, 2005
  • Status Anxiety
    Status Anxiety
    Alain De Botton
    $16.95 US
    Paperback
    May 10, 2005
  • Song of Solomon
    Song of Solomon
    Toni Morrison
    $17.00 US
    Paperback
    Jun 08, 2004
  • Sula
    Sula
    Toni Morrison
    $16.00 US
    Paperback
    Jun 08, 2004
  • The City and the Pillar
    The City and the Pillar
    A Novel
    Gore Vidal
    $16.95 US
    Paperback
    Dec 02, 2003
  • The Razor's Edge
    The Razor's Edge
    W. Somerset Maugham
    $16.95 US
    Paperback
    Sep 09, 2003
  • Julian
    Julian
    A Novel
    Gore Vidal
    $18.95 US
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    Aug 12, 2003
  • You're an Animal, Viskovitz
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    Alessandro Boffa
    $14.00 US
    Paperback
    Jun 17, 2003
  • Selected Essays of John Berger
    Selected Essays of John Berger
    John Berger
    $21.00 US
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    Mar 11, 2003
  • The Shape of a Pocket
    The Shape of a Pocket
    John Berger
    $16.00 US
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    Mar 11, 2003
  • A New World Order
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    Essays
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    $15.00 US
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    Apr 30, 2002
  • A Wild Sheep Chase
    A Wild Sheep Chase
    A Novel
    Haruki Murakami
    $17.00 US
    Paperback
    Apr 09, 2002
  • The Shadow of the Sun
    The Shadow of the Sun
    Ryszard Kapuscinski
    $17.00 US
    Paperback
    Apr 09, 2002
  • A Fine Balance
    A Fine Balance
    Rohinton Mistry
    $19.00 US
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    Nov 30, 2001
  • Quarrel & Quandary
    Quarrel & Quandary
    Essays
    Cynthia Ozick
    $15.00 US
    Paperback
    Nov 13, 2001
  • More Than I Love My Life
    More Than I Love My Life
    A novel
    David Grossman
    $17.00 US
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    Jul 12, 2022
  • The Living Sea of Waking Dreams
    The Living Sea of Waking Dreams
    A novel
    Richard Flanagan
    $17.00 US
    Paperback
    Apr 26, 2022
  • Trio
    Trio
    A novel
    William Boyd
    $17.00 US
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    Mar 08, 2022
  • Klara and the Sun
    Klara and the Sun
    A novel
    Kazuo Ishiguro
    $16.95 US
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  • Antiquities and Other Stories
    Antiquities and Other Stories
    Cynthia Ozick
    $16.00 US
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    Mar 01, 2022
  • Let Me Tell You What I Mean
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    $16.00 US
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    Jan 25, 2022
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    A Memoir
    Gore Vidal
    $18.00 US
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    Nov 16, 2021
  • Season of Anomy
    Season of Anomy
    Wole Soyinka
    $16.95 US
    Paperback
    Sep 14, 2021
  • The Interpreters
    The Interpreters
    Wole Soyinka
    $16.95 US
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    Sep 14, 2021
  • Here We Are
    Here We Are
    A novel
    Graham Swift
    $16.00 US
    Paperback
    Aug 10, 2021
  • The Fire Next Time
    The Fire Next Time
    James Baldwin
    $22.00 US
    Hardcover
    Jul 06, 2021
  • Juneteenth
    Juneteenth
    A Novel
    Ralph Ellison
    $25.00 US
    Hardcover
    May 25, 2021
  • Think, Write, Speak
    Think, Write, Speak
    Uncollected Essays, Reviews, Interviews, and Letters to the Editor
    Brian Boyd, Vladimir Nabokov Literary Trust
    $18.00 US
    Paperback
    Feb 09, 2021
  • The Wapshot Chronicle
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    John Cheever
    $16.95 US
    Paperback
    Feb 02, 2021
  • Love in the Time of Cholera (Illustrated Edition)
    Love in the Time of Cholera (Illustrated Edition)
    Gabriel García Márquez
    $25.00 US
    Paperback
    Oct 27, 2020
  • The Scandal of the Century
    The Scandal of the Century
    And Other Writings
    Gabriel García Márquez
    $16.95 US
    Paperback
    Sep 15, 2020
  • Personal Writings
    Personal Writings
    Albert Camus
    $16.00 US
    Paperback
    Aug 04, 2020
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    Javier Marías
    $17.00 US
    Paperback
    Jul 07, 2020
  • Life for Sale
    Life for Sale
    Yukio Mishima
    $17.00 US
    Paperback
    Apr 07, 2020
  • The Source of Self-Regard
    The Source of Self-Regard
    Selected Essays, Speeches, and Meditations
    Toni Morrison
    $16.95 US
    Paperback
    Jan 14, 2020
  • Beloved
    Beloved
    Toni Morrison
    $32.00 US
    Hardcover
    Oct 22, 2019
  • Myra Breckinridge
    Myra Breckinridge
    Gore Vidal
    $18.00 US
    Paperback
    May 21, 2019
  • Warlight
    Warlight
    Michael Ondaatje
    $16.95 US
    Paperback
    Apr 02, 2019
  • I'm Not Here to Give a Speech
    I'm Not Here to Give a Speech
    Gabriel García Márquez
    $14.95 US
    Paperback
    Jan 08, 2019
  • The Myth of Sisyphus
    The Myth of Sisyphus
    Albert Camus
    $15.00 US
    Paperback
    Nov 06, 2018
  • Between Eternities
    Between Eternities
    And Other Writings
    Javier Marías
    $15.95 US
    Paperback
    Aug 28, 2018
  • Men Without Women
    Men Without Women
    Stories
    Haruki Murakami
    $16.95 US
    Paperback
    May 01, 2018
  • The Boat Rocker
    The Boat Rocker
    A Novel
    Ha Jin
    $16.00 US
    Paperback
    Oct 17, 2017
  • Absolutely on Music
    Absolutely on Music
    Conversations
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    $18.00 US
    Paperback
    Oct 03, 2017
  • Keeping an Eye Open
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    Essays on Art
    Julian Barnes
    $20.00 US
    Paperback
    Jun 13, 2017
  • I Am Not Your Negro
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    A Companion Edition to the Documentary Film Directed by Raoul Peck
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    $16.00 US
    Paperback
    Feb 07, 2017
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    Hear the Wind Sing and Pinball, 1973 (Two Novels)
    Haruki Murakami
    $17.00 US
    Paperback
    May 03, 2016
  • The Buried Giant
    The Buried Giant
    Kazuo Ishiguro
    $17.00 US
    Paperback
    Jan 05, 2016
  • Amnesia
    Amnesia
    Peter Carey
    $15.95 US
    Paperback
    Dec 08, 2015
  • The Prophet
    The Prophet
    Kahlil Gibran
    $9.95 US
    Paperback
    Jul 21, 2015
  • Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage
    Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage
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    $16.95 US
    Paperback
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    Richard Flanagan
    $16.95 US
    Paperback
    Apr 14, 2015
  • The News: A User's Manual
    The News: A User's Manual
    Alain De Botton
    $17.00 US
    Paperback
    Dec 02, 2014
  • Paradise
    Paradise
    Toni Morrison
    $17.00 US
    Paperback
    Mar 11, 2014
  • Giovanni's Room
    Giovanni's Room
    James Baldwin
    $15.00 US
    Paperback
    Sep 12, 2013
  • Go Tell It on the Mountain
    Go Tell It on the Mountain
    James Baldwin
    $15.00 US
    Paperback
    Sep 12, 2013
  • Dear Life
    Dear Life
    Stories
    Alice Munro
    $16.00 US
    Paperback
    Jul 30, 2013
  • The Complete Stories
    The Complete Stories
    Truman Capote
    $24.00 US
    Hardcover
    May 07, 2013
  • In Cold Blood
    In Cold Blood
    Truman Capote
    $24.00 US
    Hardcover
    Feb 19, 2013
  • 1Q84
    1Q84
    Haruki Murakami
    $20.00 US
    Paperback
    Jan 22, 2013
  • Religion for Atheists
    Religion for Atheists
    A Non-believer's Guide to the Uses of Religion
    Alain De Botton
    $18.00 US
    Paperback
    Jan 08, 2013
  • Home
    Home
    Toni Morrison
    $16.00 US
    Paperback
    Jan 01, 2013
  • Through the Window
    Through the Window
    Seventeen Essays and a Short Story
    Julian Barnes
    $15.95 US
    Paperback
    Nov 20, 2012
  • The Remains of the Day
    The Remains of the Day
    Introduction by Salman Rushdie
    Kazuo Ishiguro
    $30.00 US
    Hardcover
    Oct 02, 2012
  • The Cat's Table
    The Cat's Table
    Michael Ondaatje
    $15.95 US
    Paperback
    Jun 12, 2012
  • The Sense of an Ending
    The Sense of an Ending
    Julian Barnes
    $17.00 US
    Paperback
    May 29, 2012
  • I Love a Broad Margin to My Life
    I Love a Broad Margin to My Life
    Maxine Hong Kingston
    $16.00 US
    Paperback
    Feb 14, 2012
  • The Naive and the Sentimental Novelist
    The Naive and the Sentimental Novelist
    Understanding What Happens When We Write and Read Novels
    Orhan Pamuk
    $15.00 US
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    Nov 01, 2011
  • The Masque of Africa
    The Masque of Africa
    Glimpses of African Belief
    V. S. Naipaul
    $16.00 US
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    Nemesis
    Philip Roth
    $16.95 US
    Paperback
    Oct 04, 2011
  • The English Patient
    The English Patient
    Introduction by Pico Iyer
    Michael Ondaatje
    $24.95 US
    Hardcover
    Oct 04, 2011
  • The Cross of Redemption
    The Cross of Redemption
    Uncollected Writings
    James Baldwin
    $18.00 US
    Paperback
    Sep 06, 2011
  • Ransom
    Ransom
    A Novel
    David Malouf
    $16.00 US
    Paperback
    Jan 25, 2011
  • On the Beach
    On the Beach
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    $18.00 US
    Paperback
    Feb 09, 2010
  • MASTER HAROLD AND THE BOYS
    MASTER HAROLD AND THE BOYS
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    $14.00 US
    Paperback
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  • Duino Elegies & The Sonnets to Orpheus
    Duino Elegies & The Sonnets to Orpheus
    A Dual-Language Edition
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    $16.00 US
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    $16.00 US
    Paperback
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    Michael Herr
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    $20.00 US
    Paperback
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    $16.95 US
    Paperback
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  • Selected Poems of W. H. Auden
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    Paperback
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    Paperback
    Mar 14, 2006
  • Never Let Me Go
    Never Let Me Go
    Kazuo Ishiguro
    $17.00 US
    Paperback
    Mar 14, 2006
  • Kafka on the Shore
    Kafka on the Shore
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    $17.95 US
    Paperback
    Jan 03, 2006
  • The Plot Against America
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    Paperback
    Sep 27, 2005
  • Too Brief a Treat
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  • Song of Solomon
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    Paperback
    Jun 08, 2004
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    Dec 02, 2003
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    Sep 09, 2003
  • Julian
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    $18.95 US
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    Aug 12, 2003
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